Simulacra And Simulations

Yesterday I attended the Lincolnshire Digital Conference 2015 at The Showroom.

As I’m currently working on a KTP with Lincoln Technology Hub, I’d been invited to this event, which transpired to include guest speaker Jason Bradbury, who is now a visiting lecturer at the University of Lincoln, working mostly with Product Design.

However, it was interesting to see what he’s been up to since I met him last year at an alumni event, along with promoting the LAN/Onlincolnshire social media workshops that are now all set to go for tomorrow.

After much stress over the last few weeks, on Friday, I finally had a new fridge freezer installed. After four months of waiting for the Lettings Agents to get that sorted.
And finances have returned to normal (if you can call still having a considerable overdraft and struggling to afford all the random curve balls life keeps throwing at me on a zero hours contract normal).

So I’ve added £36 a-n membership to my ever-growing overdraft, because everything is mostly organised for our first LAN Onlincolnshire Social Media and Digital Workshops, so obvs. I need Public Liability Insurance. I totally forgot to renew membership anyway, as I’m in the process of trying to minimise outgoings by switching dual fuel provider, and I had thought I’d stopped a Direct Debit that went out anyway, leaving me overdrawn on my “good” bank account – the one that I keep in credit to offset my constant reliance on an overdraft.

So I had to waste time ringing up the bank to ask why that had gone out when I’d cancelled it, and they kindly offered £50 to help out – which was just over half the amount that went out. Then some other money went in – some money I’ve been waiting for all month.
I know, it’s boring, but these workshops will hopefully pay off my overdraft, along with funding applications I’m still working on – which I can’t afford not to be successful with now.

Between organising this, and Bikeability Instructing all week at my son’s old school, I went for a post grad open day over the weekend, and it seems I’ve applied to do a masters. Not in fine art, though, it’ll be to follow the more commercial arm of my illustration practice. I can’t guarantee that being an artist will ever pay itself off, so I’m taking the most economically viable option. I do, however, hope to continue to use the knowledge gained to feed into any fine art projects I may pursue, along with the LAN, as I will always be a joint honours grad, and that will always inform my work. I’ve watched too many fine art post grads fade into working at Tescos to risk that outcome. If things start to change for the better, I’ll be able to continue with fine art projects, but with the terrorist threat of Universal Credit and no guarantee of having the time to do anything, we’ll see.
The Ayscoughfee proposal has taken a back step of late, however, I need to finalise the budget and gloss over it, along with a funding application for the LAN between doing the workshops.

It should be relatively simple to set up some workshops, but there’s been unnecessary and frustrating delays. Mainly Out Of Office replies to emails – like revenge because I set my emails to OOO during half term, and the art world seems to love trying to make me work for free during the school holidays. Sometimes, I swear it deliberately conspires to arrange really important exhibitions during he holidays just to make it especially hard.

Regardless, we have a list of available space at The Collection, and have outlined some dates for the workshops for March. We have several artists interested, including a graduate from 2013 that said he hadn’t done any work since graduating, and seemed glad of the opportunity.

In other news, before half term, I received a letter from Ed Miliband. mainly focussed on the NHS, as I’m now also an unpaid carer for a son that suffers from depression, I was concerned that the lack of support for mental health services and the ignorance of politicians to recognise the real impact of cuts, which are all creating an Apparatjik bottleneck of inertia all round, are having, and that there needs to be a holistic approach to the arts, culture, health and society if any politician dares to court my vote. Out of all of political leaders, I was glad that Ed Miliband took the time to write directly, (even if it was from his PR team). I cited BobandRobertaSmith and the Paying Artists campaign, and I’m glad to see his address, covered on Radio 4, to see that he’s planning to improve and include the arts as part of broader political policies, reversing tuition fees and proposals that I’m sure are positive to artists.

However, the latest dark cloud of doom to appear over my largely failed career is the news that single parents are now at risk of having tax credits totally withdrawn on spurious accusations. Please support this petition to stop this HMRC abuse!

It’s been a while since I’ve been in here. Something feels less inviting these days; my a-n subscription is up for renewal, and I’m seriously considering why I pay for it.

I’ve somehow got involved with a KTP project at the technology hub at the UoL. It provides mentoring that I’ve been receiving for the past month or two, along with funding application support and business development for Lincoln Artists’ Network.

After many disappointments trying to find a couple of Lincoln based graduates to work together to reform the LAN committee, I now have a 3rd year undergraduate working with me, and we’re in the process of reforming the constitution.

It was discovered that when we were working with Lincolnshire Co-operative and Revival, there was a clause in the constitution that meant that we couldn’t pay artists or ourselves as directors of the LAN – it should never have been there, and we’re working with another organisation to sort that out. These things are taking time, but once sorted out, should mean that I’ll gain funding to run the LAN as it should always have been, to support my own practice as part of it.

We currently have the opportunity to organise fully funded workshops and are seeking 4 to 5 Lincoln-based artists to work with us for this for March. Along with a funding application (which I’m supported with) as part of the KTP, and support for my Ayscoughfee Hall proposal. Once these get underway, I intend to set up a new blog to document the progress.

Interest from current undergraduates at an alumni event asking for summer residencies in Lincoln is something we’re not yet in a position to organise, but hope to do later on.

Meanwhile, I attended an Arts Networking Event for SO Festival on Monday. I submitted a proposal for SO when it first appeared, and have never been successful. One of the comments made by a local music promoter was that “artists” (he means bands, but it applies to the visual arts and performers involved) should be sourced locally. It’s another festival that invites participants from all over the place EXCEPT the talent sitting right on its own doorstep. I cited the Paying Artists campaign, and they assured me that they do pay artists, but they do need to be more inclusive. Their criteria even sets out some aims to engage more locally with the arts – what better way can they do that than by commissioning students and graduates from this area? I won’t be able to get involved this year, as I’ll be in Wales at the time for my brothers’ wedding (seeking bursaries for exhibs / events in Swansea / Cardiff at the end of June / early July!)

Since I last posted in here, I’ve become more and more disenchanted with the art world, and I tend not to think of myself as an artist any more.
People say I am, they even say I’m a good artist. I’m sure that if I sit and draw, the creations that come out of it are interesting, that my degree taught me how to realise concepts, etc.

But I came to a point where the meaning of being a “good artist” means “some poor fool that has a talent to be exploited, and is expected somehow to be able to stop those exploiting them”.

I worked on several proposals, none of which were successful. This is the thing. I have a 100% failure rate. The last one, for Derby Museums, said that my proposal was strong, to keep in touch…

So I now consider myself a redundant artist. I went to University, got myself a good degree, but my career has not been supported, and I’ve been failed by everyone that should’ve supported me.

Instead, I’m frequently told that to expect to be paid is to “expect the moon”, while I go to events such as Beacon, and watch as other artists talk about how they thought of something to do, applied for a grant and then went and did it, while I think of things to do, apply for grants and am not able to do anything. I have failed.
But more than anything, I have been failed.

I have somehow got involved in a KTP with University, which requires 12 hours of my time. This is with the UoL Technology Hub, where I will be looking into the use of 3D printing. There is hopefully some funding available, but I’m not holding my breath at this stage.

2015 has the potential for everyone to finally get up and take a stand against the cuts and austerity, which should’ve happened 5 years ago, or for the final nail in the coffin for my career.

And I’ve been invited to an alumni event to offer career advice to current students. Not sure if I have anything positive to say other then to join the revolution!