Since I last wrote in here, I've been off for Easter. I really enjoyed my first Easter, post – degree. It was worth reflecting on the fact that last year I never really had a break. I was working on stuff until Good Friday, went away to visit family for Easter and felt irritable because I wasn't working, yet also irritated that no one wanted to celebrate Easter in church.
So this year I've had a proper Easter holiday. I stayed at home with the kids, got up really early to attend a really lovely church service (which in my imagination ended up rather like an episode of Father Ted or The Vicar of Dibley – let's just say the vicar held Communion and then she insisted on sausage sandwiches…!)
I didn't pack in a hurry, I didn't travel anywhere, I didn't spend any money – despite what the curator of a Leicester Space museum said on the news recently, families ARE staying at home because of the credit crunch – my outgoings are still higher than my income despite my efforts to cut back. The more I try, the more likely it is that someone will try to force me to part with a few extra pounds that don't exist. I'm still existing on Income Support, my overdraft will soon hit the limit and I'm so stressed out at the lack of paid job opportunities that I'm no longer sleeping.
Most nights I don't get to sleep until 4am and then I don't wake up until 11.00ish the next day.
The weather is mostly bright and sunny, but all I can do is wait and hope I get the job I recently applied for.
I have hardly done anything creative at all. I've been tinkering about with odd things, but until the kids go back to school I feel too distracted to really do anything.
I'm not even sure if I can afford to hire a stall at the Artist's Market any more. It's my youngest son's 10th birthday at the end of next month and I don't want to be forced to buy lots of expensive toys that he'll play with for five minutes before declaring boredom.
My status has been for the past week: The Physical Impossibility of Poverty In The Mind Of Someone Banking….
I have now reverted to Tennyson quotes – amid the sleeplessness and distraction I am slowly collating ideas and materials for The Lady Of Shalott, dolls, and related thought-provoking mini installations….
