Something?s happening

lost

Attending the Sluice Art Fair and panel discussion and other art events in the past few weeks has confirmed a shift in feelings.

There is always that struggle between the reality of being an artist and the need to make, show and be surrounded by art regardless of that reality. I’ve always felt shame knowing that I will always make art regardless of how much £’s I do or don’t make. It’s been really refreshing to hear others admit that too. Its especially difficult to explain to someone who is uncreative, I feel, they feel I am an idiot. What? You will work for nothing? Perhaps the use of ‘uncreative’ is wrong, the ‘un’ implies a lack – and there are people that aren’t ‘creative’ that understand. Although usually they are passionate about something that doesn’t feed into the capitalist ideal/nightmare.

I have also heard a few people suggest that artists need to question what the value of their work and practice is, value other than the financial sense. It feels like there are positive changes starting to occur in the British art community. One being the realisation that we are a community, and perhaps we could be a better one. Perhaps we are all looking a little more outward. I am attending Artquests discussion What are we worth? Artists and the Economic Crisis. It will be interesting to see what the vibe will be there.

‘The art community’ – I like that. That’s what it should always be referred to not the art world.

Here’s a link to thoughts around the Sluice Art Fair and the artist led route, by Cathy Lomax (Transitions gallery) who was on the discussion panel with Alistair Gentry and Jasper Joffe.

The illustration is of an object I brought at a craft fair in Hackney City Farm. Unfortunately didn’t get the name of the designer/maker. It is a little bigger than a matchbox and is made out of wood, which has then been painted and varnished.

Prison. Black hole. Underground. Stair-less. Door-less. Viewing box. Captivity. Room. Solitary. Void. Home.

It reminded me of early Tim Burton films, and of Hayao Miyazaki – Howl’s Moving Castle, as well as Emily Dickinson’s poem One need not be a chamber to be haunted.

Couldn’t resist making an illustration of it with a new watercolour set. It’s the first time I have used watercolour in about 10 years although I have been playing with ink this year. The illustration looks like it could have been done in any painting medium other then watercolour! More water needed… had fun though.

My life drawing has become too safe I need to challenge myself. That’s my reasoning in treating myself to the watercolours. Not because the paint box opens and unfolds to reveal 12 tiny paint pans each individually wrapped like sweets.

Went to Adrian Ghenie’s exhibition at the Haunch of Venison. Decided it was wiser to buy a book rather than steal a painting. Yes another book.

It feels like the canvases are covered by marks rather than the surface being covered by a composition. Every square inch could be a separate painting, each filled with beautiful marks. The smudging and merging make parts feel alive, as if that part is just about to slip off the canvas. The quest to capture and question evil. Dystopian worlds and figures. The style is sophisticated yet playful. Lush.

I have recently watched the film Never let me go (2010), directed by Mark Romanek, based on Kazuo Ishiguro’s (2005) novel with same title. The story is of a dystopian world where human clones are created solely to donate their organs until they ‘complete’.

What was most chilling, was how normal it all seemed to them. Orphaned from conception, with a predestined and cruel fate. Their resistance seemed almost half-hearted. What will be will be. Every shot was incredible. Brilliant film and book.

I wonder if my interest in dystopia (particularly literature), influences my recent works. Dystopian (and a couple of post apocalyptic) influences – an excuse for a list:

We, (1921), Yevgeny Zamyatin

Brave New World, (1932), Aldous Huxley

Animal Farm, (1945), George Orwell

Nineteen Eighty-Four, (1949), George Orwell

I Am Legend (1954) Richard Matheson

Lord of the Flies, (1954), William Golding

The Death of Grass, (1956) John Christopher

A Clockwork Orange, (1962), Anthony Burgess

Lanark: A Life in Four Books (1981) Alistair Gray

The Handmaid’s Tale (1985) Margaret Atwood

Cloud Atlas (2004) David Mitchell

Never Let Me Go (2005) Kazuo Ishiguro

Kathy’s final words (if you don’t want to know look away now) in the final scene from Never let me go:

“I come here and imagine that this is the spot where everything I’ve lost since my childhood is washed out. I tell myself, if that were true, and I waited long enough then a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the field and gradually get larger until I’d see it was Tommy. He’d wave. And maybe call. I don’t know if the fantasy go beyond that, I can’t let it. I remind myself I was lucky to have had any time with him at all. What I’m not sure about, is if our lives have been so different from the lives of the people we save. We all complete. Maybe none of us really understand what we’ve lived through, or feel we’ve had enough time”.