I have in the pipeline another piece of work towards my exhibition. Felt alot calmer when a friend, after seeing some of my drawings expressed a liking for one I had rejected as not suitable to paint. I keep an open mind. Sometimes I become too close to the work I am doing and miss the possibilities I realised earlier but overlooked
I have also a commission for a double portrait to do which I have already made great headway with. I have cognitive dissonance about whether I prefer portraiture to contemporary/surrealism though in my heart of hearts I know that portraiture is deeper in my psyche and was born with me whilst anything coming thereafter has evolved with my lifes experiences.I really don't need to struggle with peferences like this. I love both.
I have to admit that my inspirational overflow and the way I have been tackling it has resulted in zero constructiveness. In future I am not going to follow through other 'non relevant to the present project ideas' by investing too much time drafting them out. One pile of drawings in two days following through one of these 'non relevant ideas' and found that, guess what? they are not relevant!
And contrary to my initial thoughts( that I would feel relieved of them so that I can follow through my 'really relevant ideas') I now have even more 'non relevant ideas and a complete black out. And I wonder if this was meant to be.
Will my 'non relevant ideas' become relevant if I use them as 'really relevant ideas' for the exhibition and carry them through and onto my canvases. Nothing makes sense.
But perhaps that is the whole point.
Being relevant is relative to the time of day and the day of the week even. Today it isn't (relevant) tonight or tomorrow it might be.
Prepared two more canvases for immediate use and three others to dry for future use. This will save me some time for when I am ready to paint on them.
I am disgusted with my on-line paint supplier when I ordered new paints (oils) the tubes had increased by, in some cases nearly £2 per tube I rang up and was told the price of oil had affected the cost. I enquired about the reduction of vat and shouldn't that even out things to no avail. Who is kidding who?
I've had a split personality this week. My sketches and drawings have been veering away from my original inspirations causing me to doubt (for just one nano second) why there is such a pull away from the original ideas. I know that I need to focus very hard on my original vision to see it come alive for my exhibition.
The dilemma I am in could be very unnerving, so the way I am dealing with this small 'problem' is to allow my drawings to take shape and compile them for future use. ( better to have too many ideas than not enough)
OK! Lots of intangible spinning and braking going on unseen in my mind, while I discover and rediscover another inspirational idea, only to realise when I try to formulate it, that it disappears as quickly as it materialised. I do keep all my ideas, even half formulated ones. They can be really useful in another piece of work. Hence I have a pile of jots, drawings, phrases and colour ideas in the corner of my studio to which I can refer to if I want.
I have just completed another two canvases towards my exhibition in May,which I began before christmas, and they have turned out well. One canvas in particular I cannot stop looking at. I always judge my finished paintings on how it makes me feel to look at it. If it evokes any emotion (sad, happy, curiosity etc) I know I've achieved what I set out to do.
