The remains of the last known stuffed dodo had been kept in Oxford’s Ashmolean Museum but in the mid-18th century, the specimen – save the pieces remaining now – had entirely decayed and was ordered to be discarded by the museum’s curator or director in or around 1755
Asked to show the remains of the dodo to some high ranking Japanese business men who had recently made a huge contribution to the Ashmolean, using the appropriate gloves Richard placed the remains in glass vitrines on acid-free conservation paper. He had been advised under no circumstances should he let the businessmen touch the artefacts and to ensure this rule was upheld whilst demonstrating the greatest diplomacy.
Tense, Richard went to the loo and took his gloves off and on and off again. Welcoming the businessmen in he shook their hands with the gloves off, remembering to put them back on again when it was time for the inspection.
The businessmen were very charming, spoke perfect English and respectfully held their hands clasped behind their Saville Row suits.
After they left he put the dodo’s remains away. He sat down at his leather embedded desk and felt both tired and relieved.
He saw in the light from the large wobbly-glassed window that there was a small whisp of fluff on his desk and he was glad that it had taken this moment to make it’s debut and remaining hidden on the windowsill while the businessmen had been present.
Looking closely he realised it was a dodo underfeather-the rarest of all. The thought of putting his gloves back on and opening the safe door and getting the clearance to do so was too much, so he put it in the part of his wallet reserved for stamps.
Several years later he moved to Hebden Bridge in Yorkshire where he opened a strange sort of antique shop specialising in relics. He kept the dodo feather weighed down by a milk-glass marble on a Spode dish on his garter-blue bookcase. He liked to tell the story and although he was shy it meant that there was always something he could entertain guests with.
One time he was showing his friend Dan the feather and realised it wasn’t there.
He doesn’t know where it is. He thinks maybe
1. Henry the hoover
2. His daughter licked it as it was close to when it had snowed and he had shown her snowflakes on the tongue;from then on she had tried other things on her tongue too, a scientific justification for a return to infancy.
3. The cat?
4. Maybe it’s still in the house.
He has sold the house. The new owners now about the dodo feather and spend a lot of time examining their dust.
