1. I’m trying to get to the bottom of why I never seem to get anything done.
2. I am experimenting in ‘creative visualisation’.
I think the two may be connected.
possible answers to 1:
Reality of limited time.
Percieved reality of limited time.
Confused mind
Convinced myself I have a confused mind.
Indecision
The existance of too many decision requests coexisting in the same small space of time.
Too many ideas
The same ideas repeated ad infinitum to appear to be many.
Liking too many things
Being above averagely good at too many things but not world shatteringly, and exceptionally amazing at one thing that demands undivided attention.
An annoying combination of extreme overself confidence and crushing self doubt at the pointlessness of it all.
Limited funds
A ridiculous persistance in the idea of perfection.
Possible suggestions for 2.
Acceptance of time reality
Extremely detailed visual plan of activities to guide day and ensure achievement of goals.
Hold visions of finished works permanently in minds-eye at all times.
Cut picture of own head out and stick onto picture of Turner Prize winner’s body
Visualize myself as a serious being imparting pearls of wisdom inplace of irreverancies.
See that it’s only art.
Where to start?
Yesterday I spent a very enjoyable afternoon in Birmingham, where I had never been before (unless you count to watch football, which I don’t, as I was reading a book at the time) so I was very excited to experience what I had imagined was the mythical, ‘bullring’. With a slight disappointment at the lack of Javier Bardem in Matador costume to welcome me, I was pretty impressed.
A discussion group organised by and for a-n, it was a big mix of different artists and users of this site. At any artist gathering I always end up in awe of the diversity of knowledge of everyone at such events and invariably depart with a list of a thousand people and things to look up when I get home. Unfortunately it is impossible to talk to everyone and you could easily have spent the next week or so in highly interesting discussion with each and every person there.
The overiding thing that I got from this particular meeting though was a real sense of belief that WE CAN (and have to) MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
WE HAVE TO BE SELF-ENABLING.
and that it is THROUGH NETWORKS OF PEOPLE THAT EXCITING AND AMAZING THINGS HAPPEN (if you make them)
Never before have I been so convinced in the theories of ‘making your own luck’ and self-fullfilling prophesy.
Now, like never before, it is a time to be brave.
With Tempting Failure fast approaching I’ve been making a start on the bits and pieces we need for the performance.
Performing as ‘SSoCial’, Sally Lemsford and I first met last year at Twycross Zoo and finding many startling similarities in themes of our work have been developing ‘Cicatrix Macula’ off and on over the past year. In the course of development the twists and turns of what and how have encompassed so many things it is hard to know where we started and where we end. I think at the moment we are still somewhere in the middle as in our heads this is the first of a series of works which will be developing as they go.
That we are to finally perform it is both thrilling and terrifying. I think I need an extra big bag to wear on my head for this one.
The trouble with plans formulated in the mind is that the logistics are never as easy as first imagined. Practicalities such as gravity and transport have a tricky way of scuppering the most ingenious of ideas. However do not worry, it will be a wild party. Please come along – there will be jelly – though at the moment, no promise of cake.
http://www.thomasjohnbacon.com/2013/02/tempting-failure-tickets-now-on-sale.html
This week I have managed to prioritise stuff that isn’t URGENT but that is what I NEED to do.
In the hunt for some materials in my storeroom I found an embarrassing number of ‘unfinisheds’.
For my own sanity THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! I am forever teetering on the brink of ‘unresolved’. I fear this may be a form of cowardice. A lack of commitment to self. Or is it purely the fickelty of a flittering mind?
The dilemma of urgency is always the same. Mad rush to get something finished for an ‘event’ or ‘opportunity’ then when (for whatever reason) this urgency disappears, the work is put aside in favour of next emergency.
NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE.
I am going to work on this until it is complete. Whatever.
So with that momentous (and long overdue) decision accomplished, a sense of freedom descended. In this happy state, several fortuitous ideas developed of a more reflective and personal nature that would have been overlooked had I rushed the work through as intended.
I am realising that it is vital to grant yourself time to allow things to develop properly and instinctively, even when ‘making’ something with a conceptual basis – it is only doing this that will reveal depths and continuity to a body of work. In the daily rush of life – this seems to be an almost obscene indulgence but it is really a basic need. One that I need to indulge.
So much for making my boat go faster this week – my poor little vessel has been tied up to moorings and filled with bickering children. (don’t you just love’em)
HOWEVER
Making good grounds (in planning at least) with details for collaborative performance with Sally Lemsford at ‘Tempting Failure’ in Bristol in April.
YOU MUST ALL COME!
Many interesting things are coming out of our skype conversations – I have now decided to make a magical carpet and have put a big order in for large brooms (you’re interested now – admit it).
Last week I was frantically trying to finish my SUPERHERO COSTUME (ALL IN ONE) to make a short film so that I could apply for the Poolside opportunity at the Bluecoat gallery in April. Sadly I now find that I am booked to make animal noses that day and can no longer apply. In the interests of not having wasted my time here is an image from a bit of film footage I took in readiness for my application.
