Just before Christmas I received two unwanted pieces of news. Firstly my ACE Grants for the Arts proposal, 21st Century Fetish, which I had been working on for 6 months, had been rejected at the second stage. Secondly, my second application for Axis had been rejected. Not a good start to the Christmas holidays.
Keeping up a positive frame of mind (not letting the Bs grind me down) I resubmitted my proposal (fingers crossed for second time) and wrote to Axis asking for feedback. Although I am still miffed that I was rejected, happily they appreciated my (lengthy) frustration and granted me some very helpful advice.
Being used to having responses on here and by other artists I know, it was VERY useful to have an external professional opinion from someone who doesn’t know me, or the history of my work – especially as it brought up many issues that I was unaware of but that may have been causing my continued flood of rejections.
Whilst I have no intention, (and no ability) to change my work in any way, it did make me question how I address it and how I portray it in a professional context. This, I know, I have talked about before but I think through these set backs I feel that I am getting closer to the heart of the problem and it is making me SERIOUSLY consider every little tiny thing. And feel that I have to (and mostly can) justify everything. This I need to be able to do ON PAPER, TO STRANGERS.
At the moment my work seems to be saying all the wrong things to all the right people, even if it doesnt mean to.
So now my head is really hurting.
