The space in which I will stage my degree show exhibition was handed over on Thursday, and so I now have a week to setup my degree show. I’ve cleaned the doors and floor, painted the walls and the ceiling and I now have the requisite ‘white cube’ (well cuboid to be accurate) in which to present my work.
Although many things remain uncertain, my grain cube remains unchecked in its transit-crate (and may have been seriously damaged during its long journey: forklift, trailer, unloading down a ramp on a pallet truck and its relocation into its final space) the light cube is only half unwrapped and the lighting rig is yet to be tested and plugged in. I may also still replace the central sculpture, I have two options – the lead box with the single ear of barley, or the bell-jar containing a single grain of wheat.
The university is closed for the weekend so all I can do is prepare, print labels, and write this blog; which will be my last before my assessment.
For my label I need to finalise my title, I’d considered subtitles for each piece but I think that one overarching title unites the piece and makes it clear to the viewer that it is an installation and not three discreet pieces.
So what’s it all about? It’s autobiographical… backing on to our garden is a small field (last Year it was full of barley, this year it’s oil seed rape) beyond that there’s an ancient wood, to the right there’s a wild meadow and over the road there’s a larger field, basically I live in rural, arable, Suffolk.
Events occur in a given space-time, therefore myself in my work is depicted using the crops I see everyday, which surrounds my existence. Each year the crops are harvested, rotated and new crops are planted. A cycle, occasionally the field is left fallow allowing the soil to rejuvenate. The farming cycle of planting seeds and harvest is an annual event, a life-death-life cycle, and the seasons are an established metaphor for life.
As previously mentioned in my BLOG, ten years ago I was diagnosed with leukaemia, and given a prognosis of 8 years.
The way a prognosis is determined is by analysing past cases, to determine a probable statistical likelihood. The greater the sample population, the more accurate the prediction will be. Therefore outliving ones prognosis is not uncommon, especially when the sample population is as small as the one for my form of leukaemia.
The only cure that is available (to date) is a myeloablative bone marrow transplant which would risk my life with pretty short odds of 50:50. A bone marrow transplant involves disabling my immune system with heavy chemo and radiation before implanting my brother’s stem cells which would hopefully graft, and as a result I would become a Chimera (a creature made up of more than one being) having two DNA profiles. Whilst an aberration (a break) in my DNA caused my illness, the cure is simply, more good DNA.
Since I was informed of my diagnosis, prognosis, and potential cure – I have felt as if my life is on hold. At first I focused on my deadline, now that I’ve outlived that, I’m waiting for the time when my doctors feel it is the most opportune time to press the reboot, and go ahead with a transplant…
Žižek wrote: –
“A lack of emotional engagement, profound indifference and detachment; it is a subject who is no longer ‘in-the-world’ in the Heideggerian sense of engaged embodied existence. This subject lives death as a form of life.”
(Žižek (2014) Event)
It’s not so much that I feel like I’m living in limbo (although I have read Dante’s ‘Divine Comedy’ as research) as it is abeyance. To further investigate this I have read up on myths relating to the afterlife, learning about the Elysium Fields and Asphodel Meadows. I also learned about Loki’s daughter Hel (Norse goddess and one of their afterworlds not the Judeo-Christian Hell) which lead me to fate, the three fate goddesses, and pre-destiny. I found the Norse version of the fates most compelling, as they handled the future in a less deterministic manner. More like some of our contemporary theories of causal space-time such as that proposed by Minkowski, where multiple futures exist which narrow in a cone like fashion as they approach the present, solidifying into reality as one’s future reaches the present.
There are three elements in my installation echoing the three fates, the first depicts the present where wheat is held in suspension (as stated I have two possible pieces that represent this, yet the bell-jar one also works independently). The other two pieces future and past are fairly interchangeable in their interpretation. One consists of a 1m cube of grain, cast in a wooden box. The second is a 1m cube frame, with layers of fabric acting as a screen on which a projection of wheat fields (at three stages of growth) is cast.
Above the installation, lighting the scene, is a rig of dimmable lights, and below there is a bed of grain on which the viewer walks, mindfully aware of the unusual surface (we humans all stand on our past, like Newton said we are standing on the shoulders of giants, our predecessors). This instability creates work for the viewer, and energy is spent just walking around the installation. The sound of my heartbeat and breath sounds further focuses the viewer on the present.
Red = my lights (dimmed) Green = existing light (off)
[Since I’ve installed my work I have further reconsidered the lighting adding a single light above the projector.]
So regarding a title I considered the following:-
- Fate (tbc)
- Extant (tbc)
- Pre-destiny (tbc)
- Pre-determinism (tbc)
- Ones determinism (tbc)
- Causal-determinism (tbc)
- Indeterminism
- Indeterminance of being
- Singularity of uncertainty
- Existential Abeyance
(tbc) standing for To Be Confirmed suggesting that either the preceding word, or that words meaning is uncertain. This idea developed accidentally, since I added tbc in an early draft to highlight my own uncertainty of the title, when I re-read it, I liked it.
These titles are aligned with the Norse mythology, and therefore somewhat contradicting our modern understanding of fate, determinism, etc. With the tbc caveat creating an oxymoron with the preceding statement.
“The three traditional mental faculties of reason – perception, conception, and comprehension – are all carried on deterministically in a physical brain where quantum events do not interfere with normal operations.”
The last two names are more about the central sculpture. However as previously mentioned the bell-jar sculpture may be presented independently outside the space, if that is at all possible.
Although I like many of these titles I’m leaning towards my first:-
Fate (tbc)
Progress up to Friday evening looked like this (panoramic photo):-
So what’s left to do… here’s my Gantt chart which started from the 24th April when I started to get concerned about what I had left to do prior to the assessment date.
I hope to post some photos of the completed installation which I’ll take on the degree show evening: –
1st June from 18:00 at the University of Suffolk… everyones welcome!
