These past few weeks have been a real rollercoaster. Excuse the cliché but it is the most accurate way to describe recent life. Life has thrown challenges at me at what feels like the worst possible time to feel challenged- but isn’t that always the way?! Having to care for my dad through the recovery from a huge operation whilst approaching the end of my degree has forced me to be incredibly organised and focussed. Every cloud as they say! But in all seriousness knowing that my time was becoming increasingly precious due to the situation with my dad and also having a family to look after meant that I have streamlined my thinking, prioritised my workload whilst still managing to find time to maintain an experimental attitude to my work. It really is such a strange experience to maintain a playful approach to my work whilst knowing that it will be on show soon in the summer show.
I have had three of my large prints mounted onto aluminium dibond and I am thrilled with the final result. I really do feel that the scale amplifies the work, and this method of mounting gives the work a crisp clean look. Having these images ready to hang has given me the confidence to really experiment and explore without fear of ‘what if it all goes wrong???’ Don’t get me wrong- the idea of presenting these images is still very nerve wracking. I suppose I am used to showing people a work in progress, so it is non-commital and therefore the fear of being judged is less of an issue- A work in progress can change. But then again, thinking about it- is any final piece truly final? Or…. is it just an extended pause, a chosen snapshot illustrating the point in my research and exploration so far? Should there be fear? Fear no, but nerves yes. Nerves because it means that you are not complacent about your work. You are still questioning, still examining- staying critical!Having these ‘finished’ works has meant that I am able to continue to progress my ideas and my line of thought which is crucial, in my opinion, in trying to avoid any sort of block / crash after my degree.
I feel like getting the hand stitched images to a ‘final’ mounted ready to hang stage has allowed me to feel a sense of closure with them. I had sort of felt like I was ready to move on, to leave that part of my work behind but wasn’t able to articulate why. Maybe because I didn’t actually know. I feel that if I were to continue to do that work I would be holding myself back, trying to replicate the successes from before. What would be the point in that? I feel that these images have lead to further enquiries which if I were to carry on stitching I would be ignoring the path that I have discovered through this exploration. So, I am allowing myself to no longer stitch, but it has not been fully left behind. I am planning to still make use of collected material from this work- the film footage primarily. I intend on taking snapshots and exploring them in the way I previously touched on, (taking a series of snapshots and displaying as multiples, playing with the way we ‘read’ imagery / film and exploring this as a tool for manipulating / opening up time). I like what this way of laying out and collecting imagery achieved:
- I liked the way your eye reads a narrative from left to right, but by doing this the imagery is not chronological as expected.
- By having the imagery run vertical there is a reference to film, which then references a passing of time. The manipulation of time, the snapshot is after all a frozen moment of time, captured, preserved and re-presented.
- The snapshot- by the nature of being selected is elevated. Why is this moment in time ‘special’ enough to raise up and display?
- By freezing the frame the eye is able to see more, read more, notice more of that moment.
I am also in the process of creating a film using footage collected whilst stitching my hand. I am hoping to integrate some footage I have also collected of people handling hair. I have realised through reflection how sensorial qualities are of importance to me in my work. I like the ability to perceive how something feels purely just by looking at it. To me it is this that allows the viewer to connect to the work. I have been very aware of the effects hair has had on the people around me when I am working. I have realised how something as subtle as the hair being touched is an interesting way of exploring the concept of sensorial experiences of the body. Hair is a tactile thing. People play with their hair for many reasons: flirtation, comfort, nerves… But that is with their own hair. When hair is no longer attached to the body it becomes something else. Maybe a metaphor for death? Mortality? Either way, I have realised that people perceive it to be unsettling. Just by having human hair extensions lying on my desk, watching people’s reactions to it fascinates me. There is a curiosity, (is it real? who’s was it?) and also a repulsion. That contrast between fascination and disgust- That is a space which intrigues and fascinates me. I find it interesting to see the hands removed from their bodies via the frame of the film. To see hands removed from their context ‘playing’ with the hair- lots of interesting things arise from this observation. You are able to ascertain gender, rough age estimates etc by studying the hands- and these aspects all feed the work with certain meanings. Certain hand movements can look very seductive, sexual, controlling etc…. I am enjoying exploring this. To me the symbols and meanings we attach to certain materials is an extension to the material which is exciting to explore and use.
As it stands I have plenty of work to be getting on with, and this gives me peace of mind. At this moment in time I can’t imagine my work being finished- therefore as long as I have curiosity and unanswered questions- I will have a creative practise…
