The Beginning of the End…(of the beginning!)

I have been working on the finger stitching work for a while now and had begun to feel stuck, like it had reached a point where it had become stagnant. I felt like I no longer really felt connected to what I was doing. I had played around with the idea of just not doing it anymore but then that just felt like running away. So, I began asking myself- why don’t I feel connected? I think part of the reason was that throughout this work I have had to develop new technical photography skills, which not only slowed the creative process, but also meant that my focus was on the technical aspect of the work; not the critical engagement. I realise that as soon as that happened, the connection between myself and the work weakened. I was not engaged. Not good!

Ruth Claxton came to do an artist’s talk at college and I managed to get a tutorial with her. Having a conversation with someone who was fresh to my work was a really valuable experience. I realised that when I spoke to her about my work I was not only articulating the work to her, but also to myself. I began to understand again what I was actually exploring. Ruth suggested that I might try to push further with the stitches. Up to this point I had just been stitching straight lines. Very neat, very controlled. What would happen in the stitches were to overlap? Cover the whole hand? Connect parts of the hand?

I decided to take these questions on to move the work forward; but there was still a nagging at the back of my mind. To a certain extent I wondered whether my detachment to the final images was because they were secondary experiences. They were not the actual process of stitching. That process is so immersive and I wanted this to come through. I have played with the idea of performance, but I wonder if there really is a need for the presence of an audience? I am yet to actually explore this medium, and I may still explore it; but I have this week began experimenting with the immersive qualities of scale. This week I took some fresh shots of hand stitching in which I really pushed the stitches. Layering up and restricting movement. Today I printed out my first experiment at A1, and I was thrilled. The scale meant that the image became more immersive. It completely altered the viewing experience. I am hoping to maybe take the images bigger again, but as they are macro shots the detail is so important. We’ll see- I just need to give it a go and see what happens. As it stands at this point I am excited about this work again, which after doubting it so much, feels so good!!

I can’t believe, (and am rather fed up with myself) that I have almost completed my degree and haven’t managed to get a blog up and running until now! The past three years seemed to have flown by. I started the degree with an open mind, ready and willing to go with the creative flow and to allow myself to fully explore whatever intrigued and excited me. Everyone else seemed so certain of what type of artist they were / would be. Sculptural, painters… but I had no idea. This sounds like this was a negative experience, but this was thrilling for me. To suddenly be thrust into a situation where I had time and space to explore without a final end product in sight, with no idea of where or how I would start…. this would definitely not be boring and along the way, I hoped that I would really get to know myself as an artist. Well, that was at the beginning, and here I am now; about to start the final stretch to the summer show and graduation.

I must say, that I really feel that resisting the urges of my parents and grandparents for me to paint pretty pictures was a good move!! I feel that by not stepping into a box I have allowed myself to really explore and analyse the concepts that are bumping around inside my mind. By not limiting my materials I have allowed myself to experiment. I have loved each and every moment of this degree, and they will have to drag me out of the building this summer. I don’t want it to end! Not because I don’t feel ready but because I so appreciate the support of both tutors and fellow students; of seeing the creative development of others. Of being in an inspiring environment in which I can explore and experiment freely without fear of judgment. But, like all things it must come to an end.

So, that is a very brief intro to me. To see some examples of my work please feel free to check out my website.

I suppose I should introduce my current practice so that future reflections leading up to the degree show have some sort of context!

My practise is multi-disciplinary; concerned with the traces of human experience. My work has previously explored the transition between sates of sleep and wakefulness, the transformative aspects of life and death and also more in-depth enquiries such as, when does your body cease to be your body?

More recently my work has examined the psychological space in which the boundaries and limitations of the body are explored in a way that is not completely comfortable but also not completely destructive. The space illuminated means that an evaluation, maybe even a provocation of the relationship we have with our bodies and the tensions derived from this experience are presented. I am interested in how the associated cultural meanings of materials inform the viewing experience; how as an artist using my own body I come with my own context, yet the viewer also comes with theirs.

The process of exploring this medium becomes a performative ritual in which time seems to alter. By creating an experience in which my body seems to challenge itself, time passes differently to when completing day to day activities. The way in which a space is created out of experience intrigues me.

As children we often explore the materiality of the body; picking at scabs, printing the patterns of a grazed knee on a tissue, even wrapping elastic bands around fingers and watching them turn blue. This method of enquiry which is repressed throughout adulthood intrigues me. The juxtaposition of the innocence, playfulness and inquisitive nature of childhood against the mortality of the body is a powerful concept; when reflecting back to the moments in childhood where these enquiries took place, I realise that they are not totally noticed or valued. Through my enquiries and by changing the context of child to adult I wonder how those changes will affect the way in which these experiences are perceived.

So, that is a very brief introduction to my practise to this point in time. I would love for this blog to serve as a portal to connect with others. Group crits and tutorials are probably the aspects of college that are of most value to me and what I will miss the most. I am very aware that I need to find a way of continuing this interaction and engagement when I have left college. I hope to do this with fellow students, but it would also be fantastic to find another outlet. Any feedback, critique, suggestions or engagement on this platform really would be much appreciated!