… the very non-existence of what I should have done will haunt me forever: although what I did not do does not exist, its spectre continues to exist…
Slavoj Zizek
About two years ago, I promised to make a small artwork for a couple of people I know. They were really close and they wanted something which symbolised their friendship. I thought about it and came up with a suitably sweet idea, but somehow never actually got round to making the piece. I was always busy with other “more important” things and this project – which wouldn’t have taken long to complete at all – kept getting shoved to the bottom of the list. Occasionally one of them would sidle up to me and whisper, “How’s our artwork coming along?” or “When’s our artwork going to be ready?” and I would get embarrassed and apologetic, mumbling “I’m sorry, I’ve been too busy, I’ll get it done… I promise”. But I didn’t get it done, and continued not getting it done, and this week one of them died suddenly, unexpectedly and horribly.
I feel so sad and worried for his family and his friends. I wish I had wise words to give them, but I don’t. I wish it hadn’t happened, but it did. If only I had made just a little more effort, that little sculpture I had in mind might have provided some comfort – and even if that comfort were only miniscule, it would have been better than none. What’s art for if not to help us think things through? After all the collaborations I’ve been involved in, you’d think I’d have learned not to make promises I can’t keep; but I didn’t learn and now it’s too late.
