Lothe,Jakob(2000) Narrative in Fiction and Fim P.3 (From www.slideshare.net)
My evolving piece (an installation) for my final show, seems to have taken on a life of its own and there are many elements to it that have really made me think. It seems to have come together fairly naturally and I am quite glad about this, as it would have been a very ambitious project if it had have been more planned. If I had of seen the whole thing as a complete concept initially, I think I would have become quite anxious as to whether I could achieve it!
The work has taken on a deep level of symbolism for me. It involves elements of my past-history, my spiritual search, my fear of death and elements (and memories) of my past mental health experiences. I am completely personally amazed at how much psychological stuff has come out of making this piece! It also really seems to be connected with material I read (and an essay I completed) at Level 5 of the course on the subject of ‘Nachtraglichkeit’ (or Afterwardness). In terms of this idea, so much of the making this piece has been a ‘remembering’ of events and a processing of those events into the present moment. Some of these events occurred in my very early twenties and I could never have believed that making sculpture would be a way of working through those experiences. The concept of Nachtraglichkeit also embodies the idea that it is not just a ‘working through’ or a ‘remembering’ of events, but a level of processing that informs the present moment in such a way that new pathways of understanding are created and assimilated…. Into an ever-evolving re-creation of the event(s) into the ever-evolving sense of self.
Strangely, although I can see the story of this work having a deep level of meaning for me, various elements of it would not have opened up to me unless certain chance events had not occurred. This creates a level of confusion for me. Given I read a high level of meaning into the elements of this work, but some of those elements would not have existed without chance events happening, how does this lead me to explain the event of making my work?
One recent event that really stands out for me and has led to the work taking on particular significance, is (hopefully) a healing of a rift between myself and another mature male student. Unfortunately, through a mix up of events, a level of distrust developed between us in the first year and up until recently there was an extremely frosty atmosphere between us and a total breakdown in communication. This was quite sad, but I accept that some of my own stupid actions led to that situation. Given that recently this situation seems to have got a little better, there has been a level of interaction between us and in that interaction he questioned my practice, particularly the fact that I seemed to have stopped making new work and was resting on my laurels (if that is the correct term?). This conversation inspired me to reinvest energy into another project I had shelved, but which I had all the materials for. Although at the time I saw this project as being ‘separate’, it somehow has now proved to be part of a more complex narrative.
Narrative is such an interesting area. Do we control our stories, or do our stories start to define who we are? Why are humans so attached to the story-telling process? Are we anything apart from a web of tangled stories?
