Dear Reader,
I have been toying with an idea for some time now. Hoping to use this for my upcoming exhibition in February, I have been thinking of doing a self portrait. This self portrait will be a little bit different to what you might expect to see however, as I won’t be in it.
As a wheelchair user I am often identified as my aid, “that wheelchair girl”, “the wheelchair student”, “my wheelchair friend” (yes, I have actually been referred to as such!). People in the street will call out or stare at me when I’m in my wheelchair; and I am often spoken over, and conversation is directed to the person pushing me. I’m regularly ignored by sales assistants, medical professionals and hairdressers to name but three, who assume I can’t speak for myself and choose instead to talk to my carer as if I were a child or have limited mental capacity.
My wheelchair and I are interchangeable in the eyes of many, we are one and the same. I feel that my identity is concealed by my chair; when you look at me you see my disability before you see anything else. For most, the chair is all they’ll ever see.
For my self portait, I decided that I would just display my wheelchair, as it is an integral part of my identity. Displaying my wheelchair as a sculptural piece, I created a label to go along with it. This label reads:
Now you see me, now you don’t: A sculpture of Alice Crane
I took advantage of my time in the creative lab space at the university to display my self portrait; this space is dedicated to solo experimentation and exhibition. I used my allocated time to trial this work, setting it up with my study support assistant before then scurrying back to my studio space to hide. I felt that this work would be more impactful to my peers if they didn’t know what I was up to. Many of my classmates aren’t used to seeing me without my wheelchair, and were shocked to find it empty.
This piece had more of an impact than I had anticipated; the reactions were strong and emotional. Those who I had known the longest were in tears; I had to administer hugs to sooth them. I was overjoyed that this work had the affect that it did, especially as I wasn’t sure about it. It provoked lots of discussion, including ideas about how I might display it in next years interim exhibition; it was thought that this piece was best shown in an intimate space and that we might place display panels around it.
