The SPACE Project

Sadly I forgot all about this post when creating the works for my latest show, I did document a lot of it at my other blog at wordpress but forgot this place existed. Not the website but the fact I had a blog, can you have too much web presence? I’ve spent the morning trying to edit and adapt what I have, removing some and updating others.

To be fair I often forget to update my blog and really want to get a website up and running but need to make more works again. I feel like I shouldn’t show some earlier works because my practice has changed so drastically. Also, I dislike earlier works and struggle to find the merit in it.

In other news, the show was a success, I was almost proud of the work (which is a new thing for me). I’m trying to start experimenting again and sending out proposals quite a lot. I miss having a studio at times like this, I did have a wonderful one, but the work life balance conflicted and I couldn’t get there. It’s easier for me to work from home despite the fact it limits my space.

I feel like I’m in a state of flux and although it is interesting and in parts exciting, the rest feels very confusing.

I’ve been making flowers again- using different paper that I’m arguing with. It is far more flimsy and doesn’t hold it’s shape… logistics I will have to overcome I suppose. It’s all coming together nicely despite changing my idea ever so slightly.

Since securing employment in a job I love I’ve struggled to fit in my practice too. These are minor alterations to my lifestyle really. The money employment gives me allows me to ploy on with some of my more exciting ideas though.

Toss of a coin again.

What do I do?

I’ve been so busy recently I almost forgot I had this, I’m making flowers over and over again, it seems never ending, but at the same time, I enjoy it so much.

Life as an artist is difficult it would seem, at times. Pushing yourself to complete an idea that had such vigor in the beginning and now wanes as I work through it. That would be because of the shear volume I need to create, I count the numbers and they seem impressive, but in reality the number looks so small.

I had a show at the Dragon Bar briefly and I wasn’t impressed with the work, sadly. I didn’t use the exposure to my full advantage and that is all my fault. I feel such embarressment as times when showing people the things I create, I always think I can and should do better. I never see the merit in my own works and that is something I need to work on.

Everything with the flowers seems to be fitting in together slowly, like being drip fed, it takes it’s time. For once I hope to surpass my own expectations, but we shall see how that comes together, and this time I really hope to use this chance to really push myself.

I’ve hit the ground running at my studio these past two days, achieving a lot. I have yet more to achieve for the work to really animate the space, but that is exciting.

I was lucky enough to have an assistant yesterday, a friend came to help me and it was an interesting experience having never worked with anyone in the studio before. He is not an artist, or a student, his knowledge of anything contemporary is the information I drip feed him. I demonstrated making paper to him and he achieved a lot, to a very good standard which I was impressed with.

It raises questions of authentication to me though, is it still my work if he made the paper that I will then go on to cut and mould into shape? The truth of the matter is, I have a lot to achieve in a short amount of time, and any help would be greatly appreciated.

The plans are coming along nicely and it’s been so lovely to be focused on a project again. I work best under pressure and I pile the pressure on myself in a variety of ways.

I’m again looking at the context of my idea, I am intruigued by how materials can represent things, more specifically nature. There is something in nature from nature and back to nature again, which is what I’m aiming to focus on in this exhibition. The paper is created from trees, the paper is moulded into flowers, and then, circumstances pertaining, the paper may well go back to disintergrating into nature once again.

I’m hoping the weather is good in July for the exhibition, as nice as it would look to see the garden slowly decompose and be eaten, I would love to be able to keep it all. I’m torn, and realise that had I wanted it to really last forever, maybe I shouldn’t have chosen paper, but then it will change my concept, everything is all so interlinked and maybe I’m being too literal. Today though, as it rains, I can’t help believing that all my hardwork will be absored back into mother nature.

Today I met with Christine Gist at The SPACE. I am every so excited for this oportunity.

We discussed the actual space, an impressive 19x12m, securing the works, promotions and funding.

I’l be allowed limited access to the space before instal, which is valued, and I think I’ll plot the space out at my studio too. There will be a large amount of work to do, I’m looking forward to getting started though, I enjoy a challenge and I have certainly given myself one.

It was really nice to discuss my proposal and to hear what I excelled at. Also to make notes on where I could improve in the future.

So here’s to my first project as a gradute. I look forward to keeping you updated.