(continued from previous posting)
I now spend soooo much of my time doing tedious ‘design' work for clients who pay my mortgage, that I could quite easily be accused of being fatally deluded in clinging to the self image of ‘artist'.
But there is another side to this.
I spend a far greater amount of my time thinking about my work as opposed to actually doing it. It's easy to think in all the small, secret moments that take no time to organise. I have developed a way of working that means that I can make the actual piece during intense periods of activity that have been set aside from the normal daily routine. These might take bloody ages to put together as a final finished piece, but I do somehow get there eventually. My point is I suppose, that the work I make now, has for me more sense of purpose and value than my other ‘full time' work ever did. I make it because I need to, because I have something genuine to say or explore, not because I have an arbitrary ‘sustained momentum' from academic training. So maybe (for me at least) fitting my artist endeavours into and around my life is actually a higher form of commitment that my ‘full time' practise ever was.
I realise this is a very big debate, alongside the related issues of how to fund ones practice. Perhaps I do dream of that fantastic benefactor who will enable me to devote more time to the work. I can't pretend that it's perfect (and I would certainly make far more work if I had more time/ funding) – but there is no doubt that I'm in no danger of drying up in my present situation – I have enough ideas stored away to make a person dizzy!
And hey… I sold another piece this week.. just imagine what I could do if I actually got my act together and had a show!
