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Sporting League: Game 8

Universo Collunteen held onto the top spot with a hard earned win by a goal to nil against Lunderbach.

Yop Lane kept up the pressure with a three goals to one win over a depleted Bombaya side.

Tranquilayers continued their move up the table with a two goals to nil home win over Green Tree.

Sporting radio pundit R: ‘I can’t believe Bayerns getting that last gasp goal over Pacifica – I think it looked offside all day long to me. If you guys out there think differently, call in to the station – you know the number…’




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Sporting League Game 7

It was a day where Universo Collunteen laid down their statement of intent after coming back from two goals down to defeat ex champions Novia by three goals to two. Sporting radio Pundit X: ‘The thing you’ve got down at Universo is that all their players are home grown…have you noticed that? Universo have always been known for their distaste for ‘in clubs’ and ‘cliques,’ but that’s precisely the mould in which they’ve re-invented themselves.’

Pundit B: ‘Well shall we take a Pat Butchers at the Bayerns defeat? What was going on there?’

Pundit X: ‘Sometimes it’s tough starting out the next season as champions – I really think the Bayerns players look weary. Nothing seemed to be clicking against a Delta side that are surely looking to get themselves back in the top six – although I’m sure no one would’ve thought they’d be in second place at this early stage would they?’

Pundit B: ‘And a quick look down at the bottom of the table – any early relegation clues for you?’

Pundit X: ‘Well it looks as though Tranquilayers poor start has come to an end after the win over Metronova. I think they’ll move on up to the top half now, but they need some more players to come through the ol’ ranks. I’m looking at Zindustrious now, I thought they did OK in the draw with Chamber Athlete, but I just can’t see them getting out of the bottom three. I think Liver Halvers will also have a long season along with Green Tree. All these clubs have something in common and that’s a lack of strength in depth. I was in the car park the other day and bumped into the Green Tree Chairperson – I don’t know, he was there on his clapped out bicycle – lovely bloke – absolutely loaded though – you’ll never see him up at the Hilti forest golf club.’

Pundit B: ‘There’s more to life than golf and races mate…’

Pundit X: ‘So, are you comin’ for a round later?’

Pundit B: ‘Oh aye, wouldn’t miss it for the Sporting world…you can check out the new sports car bought with my promotion dosh.’


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Sporting League: Game 6

Universo Collunteen moved to the top of the table with a home win over Olby. Olby supporter: ‘I’m spending all this cash for a season ticket to see us play like that…atrocious! I find it hard to believe that we won the title a couple of seasons ago now. We were all harping on about a new dawn, new horizons and all that. Credit to Universo, they’ve worked wonders with a financial deficit since getting themselves back in the top flight. I just don’t think the governors want to shell out the cash for a couple of big signings…gutted.’

Bayerns looked devoid of ideas at home to Chamber Athlete as the visitors scored a last gasp penalty leaving the champions licking their wounds.

Yop Lane ended injury hit Novia’s unbeaten start with a deserved two goals to one triumph.

The battle of the rich and the avante garde took place between Tranquilayers and new kids Pointeso, ending in a two – two draw.

Pointeso boss: ‘I’m looking at our defence. Did you see how many times their forwards lashed out? I think there is always going to be the advantage played to the old guard like Tranquilayers. I haven’t seen them win a title since, when, 1995? I think we’re a cool team, good looking I hasten to add. We’ve got the best stadium, the best players and a good work ethic. I can’t say the same about Tranquilayers. I don’t want to talk about them any more.’




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Sporting League game 5

Universo moved to joint top with a four goals to three way win over Sporting Athlete. Sporting radio: Pundit X: ‘Man, that was one hell of a game tonight – these teams back in the league kinda reminds me of the early days…I don’t know how to explain it…it harked back to the jumpers for goalpost, ye know, when the world was your oyster and all that malarkey.’

Pundit Y: ‘Did you spend some time supping in the bar at half time?’

Pundit X: ‘Ha, lets just say that I’ve got exclusive passes, ye kno’ – access all areas n’ that. I’m more of a champers with the chief execs kinda guy than in the dusty bars. Tell ya what tho’ – they do great prawn sarnies down at Sporting Athlete!’

Injury hit Novia unsurprisingly dropped their first points of the season with a one – one draw with Athletico.

Champions Bayerns recovered from their shock defeat at home to Colne with a home win over Zindustrious. Bayerns boss: I’m kinda annoyed with the Zindustrious stewards for allowing their lot to smuggle in amps and guitars…it was like being at a thrash metal concert, I have a splitting headache – just pleased that our players are true pro’s and managed to block it out.’

Kings of cool Pointeso made hard work of their clash against Pacifica, finally running out winners by a goal to nil with just three minutes left on the clock.

The game of the day had to be the two-all draw between Olby and Yop Lane. Yop supporter: ‘ I had a weird trip into Olby city. I’d driven from the Colbreck region. Have you ever been over that way…very different from the sporting zone, believe me. I got lost, found myself driving and driving through the desert – miles of endless roads, run down petrol stations, trees, signs along the road…ye kno’ flags flying, clouds reflecting in my sunglasses. I didn’t reach the stadium until half time – my beloved Yop were two goals down. I’ve been following them from the early days, d’ya know what I’m sayin’? Do you like my Yop Lane socks…they’ve got little diamonds on ’em…look! Gots ’em out of the Yop shop..’




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