1 May 2011
Today’s experience seems to be damaging for my emotional well-being.
I went to downtown Chongqing with the intention to find the photo lab but even the policeman seemed to know nothing about their local area. So I gave up the idea and walked to Chao Tian Men (the Sky Gate), where the confluence of Jia Ling Jiang and the Yangtze River is. It is obviously the centre of Chongqing.
I was immediately swallowed by the endless skyscrapers. To see them from a distance is one thing, to completely emerge into them is absolutely another thing. The weather was of typical China, overcast and extremely foggy. I walked in the extremely dense high-buildings, people, cars and noise, feeling weightless and soulless. It was indeed a human world, everything is made for and by us, including the limited number of plants. How does it feel to live in a concrete world like this all the time? According to Taoism, human and other things in the universe, such as mountains, rivers, plants and animals, are in the same energy circle; by standing on a mountain top, humans can absorb energy from the universe without obstacle. If this is correct, then what’s happening here? There is nothing else for us to exchange or absorb energy. Does that mean we are more fragile? Without fresh recharge of life forces? If human beings are also part of nature, then we seem to be cut off from everything else that’s nature. I thought of making pictures, but my instinct is to run away, to find a breathing place.
So I thought of my approach to the project again. Perhaps I just need to follow my heart, if city centres are unbearable, then I can escape to the river side. At least there’s a belt of a few hundred meters’ width that isn’t covered by buildings, people, or cars yet.
