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Nine little babies seemed so many when they were hung against my studio wall, especially as I had originally thought I’d have just three. Nine little babies hung in the foyer of the school of art look somewhat insignificant. Time is short. A friend has let me plunder her collection, so I have three more dresses to work on in the next two weeks. I may have to go and hunt for a little boy outfit though too (it’s really hard to find old boys clothes). I shall shuffle them about a bit. I’ve decided (or should I say re-decided, as I’ve changed my mind a few times now) to use the yellow linen dress with the footprints on too, so that the child I had stood to one side can now join the throng, and the adult can stand a little apart, in a supervisory role. Then I think I’m probably done.

The long loop of “Keep Calm” has been burned to cd, and is ready for me to play with it on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I may post a sneaky peek photo of some of these goings on, when I’m a bit closer to what I want it to look like. After the private view evening I’ll post loads more, and maybe the song too.

My sleep pattern is non-existent. I go between eating rubbish to trying not to put any weight on as the posh frock then won’t fit. It’s touch and go, but having told everyone I’m wearing this 1950s creation, I have to don’t I? I have wrinkles, spots, and bags under my eyes. My knees are shot. My back aches. I have violent mood swings. Some days I feel giddy as a schoolgirl. Some days I feel like a miserable old bag.

Good job it’s not a three year course. My family and I can’t take much more of this!

I’ve posted before about sketch books haven’t I? As have other bloggers here.

My sketch book has been untouched for several weeks now, other than the odd scribbled note or phone number. Why is this? I think it is because I have resolved things. I know what I need to do for the final show, so I’m doing it. I know what to make and how to make it, and more importantly for me, given my history in these matters, how to show it and where.

I have other ideas in my head of course, but I daren’t put them down just yet, for fear of derailing my thoughts in this crucial time. I suppose that’s why I’m blogging instead. Somehow I can do words but not pictures. The pictures conflict with the other pictures, and I get confused. But I can rattle away here and it’s ok. Is it a right brain/left brain thing do you think?

It is the same when I’m writing, I can’t listen to songs, but I can listen to instrumentals. The words of what I’m hearing get tangled up in the words I’m writing.

I talk a lot about the music I listen to, treating you to lists and links to my favourites. Over the last 2 weeks I have hardly listened to anything else but my own song. I am in fear that it is a fragile thing that will get washed away in my busy brain. That I will have an idea so ethereal that it will float away on the tide of music from someone stronger. A little perfect 3-note harmony, that will go POOFF! when faced with the might of a proper song.

The last recording has now been done, Dan is mixing it all up beautifully, while I nod and bravely say what I think. Sometimes I still have to be brave. I think I’ve got a way to go yet before you could call me a bossy songwriter/producer, but I’m getting there!

So now I visit iTunes again…

I started with a little bit of Agnes Obel, to break me in gently… chuck in a bit of Dan Whitehouse, to nod and say thank you…a bit of old Elbow, Asleep in the back… now feeling in the mood for something a bit meaty… Red Hot Chilli Peppers maybe -bass that plays your guts? I’m open to suggestions!

Not much to say today folks, but a few photos of my working hanging at Junction Festival of Contemporary Arts, Chapel Ash, Wolverhampton.

It’s been fun, and there are some amazing pieces of work about!

I sit here with a beer (Bishop’s Finger), and a scotch egg (farm, not Sainsbury’s). A celebratory mood has taken over. The recording for the song is now finished. Just the mix to do.

I have had a frantic week, but it has also been filled with awe and wonder. It is an amazing thing to have talented friends, who share and enthuse and join in and contribute amazing ideas. This may be the beer talking, but I don’t care.

We do it for love don’t we? Artists, musicians, whatever… we do it because we breathe it, pump it round our bodies. We can’t NOT do it. We get absorbed in it. Whatever “it” is. Once we are involved in the idea, we want it to work well, put the best into it. You can’t do these things in a half-arsed fashion.

Sometimes people take advantage of this and we don’t get paid what we should. I’ll gloss over that for now, that is a different post. This post shall be the beer-fuelled one that tells people how great they are.

If anyone that has worked with me on this project wants me to do anything arty, they can have me for free. I feel humble and fortunate and full of deep love! *hic*

I find myself a bit over-emotional of late.

I am on the brink. Several brinks in fact.

I am about to install some of my work at Junction Festival in Chapel Ash, Wolverhampton. This has had its difficulties along the way, but all is well now I hope, I’ll be hanging stuff this afternoon. Will take photos when I have, and post one or two.

I am about to finish and hand in my last essay.

I am about to finish the work for my MA final show.

I am about to prepare the space in which it will hang. (Thank God I haven’t got to paint the walls!)

I am about to finish the song recording.

I find I want to cling on to these things, and stay on the brink, because once they are done, I have to move on.

I am really pleased with how the “children” for the final show have turned out, and I’m glad I’ve done more of them.

I had a bit of a late-night wobble about the song last night, fuelled mostly by insomnia and exhaustion I think. Went to bed about 9.45 and slept till 6.45 this morning. So feel much fresher now, perspective regained, analytical brain more capable, problem spotted, and hopefully Dan can help me put it right. He’s done some amazing work on this, and I’m eternally grateful… my inkling of a song idea has been elevated beyond anything I had expected, or hoped for.

So I need to keep my composure, keep going, only 21 days till the deadline. I must try to sleep more. I think the Junction event will be great but really busy. Then I can relax a bit and enjoy the last couple of weeks of the MA.

So. Just going to find a quiet place and have a bit of a blub. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.