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Confidence is key isn’t it?

I don’t mean the brash, stride about, showy off sort of confidence, I mean the calm knowledge that you can do something.

I talked about serendipity before. To me, it has come to mean the coming together of the need to do something out of the usual routine, something scary maybe, and the arrival of a big chunk of confidence to help you do it.

I did desperately want to get to the US with my work, to experience maybe just once in my life, that feeling of being a professional artist. Oh I know I do stuff here, but it is never at the exclusion of everything else. There it was. I am a 53 yr old woman who has never been much further than a couple of hundred miles on her own… when I think of that I am shocked. I like to think I am independent and a woman of the world, but actually, no, I am a woman of the Midlands. So going to the US on my own, was so scary… 4000 miles… 3 planes… 4 airports… (mantra: passport ticket money passport ticket money passport…)

I confess I was quaking in my boots. I tried not to think about each stage of the process until I had to.

Because the situation at school had got worse, I decided if I didn’t want it to drag me down completely I needed to do something about it. So I began telling people I was looking for something else.

My amazing husband, once again, was so supportive, taking it all on the chin, while possibly quaking in his boots at the thought of lost income, we discussed it and decided I could do it. I could resign. I had a few bits and pieces that would bring some cash in, so it would be ok. We are not extravagant people (we certainly don’t travel much do we?) It is easy to be a woman of principle once you realise you are not going to be totally destitute. If we had needed the money more desperately I would have had to swallow my principles and count myself lucky to have a job at all.

Having made the decision to leave, I was instantly relieved of the black cloud that had been following me around. I told more people I was looking for new opportunities.

And suddenly there was one… and a really good one too!

It gave me such a boost of confidence, after all the rubbish that had been going on. To know that I was appreciated, thought capable, an asset rather than an expensive liability.

So, then I knew I could do it. I packed my suitcase and off I went into the world on my own, with a red suitcase and a big grin. I strode through airports running over people’s feet with my little wheels, willy nilly!

So now I am a Woman of the World

And a Woman of Principle

A Confident Artist

I feel I could do pretty much anything right now, so ask me quickly before it fades!

Short bit of video just to prove I did it… excuse croaky voice!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aERl1HFQVh4

Sometimes, blogging can be very frustrating, because you are unable to talk about things as they happen, when you are feeling them most sharply.

But, when the dust settles, you then see things more clearly!

I have this morning resigned from my job in school. Those of you that know me, or have read this blog for a while, will know how much I loved the job, and also how grief-stricken I was when it all changed.

I feel the need to trot out cliches…

Things happen for a reason…

As one door closes another one opens…

There’s more to life than money…

The world is my oyster…

There are more no doubt…

But… if I hadn’t been unhappy, and started very noisily telling people I was unhappy, and looking for something else, I would not be where I am now!

I will soon be working with the education team at New Art Gallery Walsall… (and other places too I expect) My favourite local gallery… actually probably just my favourite gallery, for so many reasons, some of which I must have written here.

I will still be in my studio at ArtSpace Dudley, and doing workshops there too.

I was unhappy.

Now I’m happy.

(I have a raging throat infection, a sore knee and jet lag, but very happy)

Hello Brave New World!

The nature of obsession in art….

Can there be art without obsession?

And if there is obsession without art, is that when the trouble starts?

Being over here in the US has given me time to reflect upon this.

My own obsessions are dealt with in my work. Worries that might otherwise make me angry, aggressive, unreasonable, are dealt with productively, with a positive, aesthetic outcome… and ability to look at it afresh…

Without exception, the art I love shows levels of a fixation to match my own… with materials and subject matter. Even when I think I have branched out, in hindsight, I discover I have not. I have discovered this week that the obsession takes many forms. Katherine Gullo’s patterns cover every surface of her house and work… EVERY surface.

Mike Flaxman’s birdhouses another case in point. Based on shapes and styles of Russian architecture, I found they spoke to me somehow… like a bit of me could live in one. He had one that Kathy had painted… Dear God what I would give to own that… or give it a home near me for a while… I felt inadequate. I take a badly constructed, pre-made shed, slap some glue and pre-cut fabric strips on it… yeah ok. Take a thousand steps up, construct a birdhouse based on Russian architecture, intricate in craft and inherent balance of form and then paint it with beautiful delicate geometric pattern and flora and fauna. Shed? Pfft.

Debra Eck, who has unbelievably generously give eleven of us artists a home from home while we have been in the US, has her own set of rules for engagement with her materials. An eclectic collection of paper goods ranging from ephemera such as store carriers and tea-bag tags up to hand made papers and vellum make it into her work, each handled expertly and stitched with an obsession to rival mine, but into the most amazing books, with complicated embroidered bindings.

http://debraeck.com/experimental-bindings.html

The gallery my work is in shows signs of it too. The Dykeman Young Gallery in Jamestown, is in itself a lovely building. Michael Dykeman presides over it with incredible attention to detail. There is a little walk through corridor/wardrobe lined with vintage shoes, handbags, hats and ties etc… beautifully arranged, expertly lit. It almost tempted me to buy some girl shoes… almost… each item for sale is given its place, and treated gently. He has treated my work in the gallery with equal care.

https://www.facebook.com/DykemanYoungGalleryAndVin…

To be with a group of people who get why something has to be a particular way, is reassuring and refreshing. They may not understand MY rule, but they understand that it has to be so.

On an American Experience note, I have today seen a herd of deer, a groundhog and Niagara Falls. I have eaten an onion sliced into a sort of flower shape, the root part still intact, battered and deep fried… delicious, but containing about a fortnight’s calories I’m sure… and the best steak I’ve eaten for years.

And Buffalo wings? Oh yeah.

(continued from last posting)

Oh but my highlight of the day, was visiting Katherine Gullo…

http://katherinegullo.com/

This cottage, again, wood clad, sat nestled between trees, back a little from the road, was a joy! From the second I stepped out of the car I knew I would love this artist. The door and window frames of the house were painted in brightly coloured patterns of zigzags and dots and triangles… but stepping into the place was like being slapped… instant gratification of the patterned kind! Every single surface, textile, object… covered in colour and pattern and deep deep joy. But it was not cacophonous at all… there was a harmony to it, a rhythm. I sat on a painted chair at a painted table, geometric pattern against sweeping branches, butterflies and caterpillars. My eyes roaming the walls, and furniture. The lines between textile, mosaic, ceramic and painted surface blurred. I don’t know how she does it but the woman is a genius. I have warned my husband I might paint some furniture when I get home… he has no idea…

She also had a shed, I’ll post a picture… filled with her work ready for the season to start. Bowls of ceramic fruit shapes, painted with completely enveloping pattern. A place of real joy… This artist has a big heart, a huge grin and carrot muffins to die for… her work is a total expression of who she is. I came away so inspired by her, her work and her surroundings.

On the way home, driving through Amish country, white houses with blue doors… all the same colour blue, the acceptable sort of blue, we saw children playing in fields. Boys in flapped front trousers and breeches, white shirts, black jackets and straw hats, girls in navy or black dresses, brown bonnets covering their entire heads. In the slopes between the trees down to the stream, were a group of dens built from branches, leaves and bits of canvas and bits and pieces. Their play derived from the landscape. My tour guide Mike saying “they leave less of a scar on the earth than we do”

We did call into an Amish quilt shop too. But to be honest I found it a little disappointing, as the quilts – most of them – seemed to be made for “The English” so had little of the plain charm I was expecting. I was intrigued by the use of machinery though… which I thought was eschewed… tales of tractors being used to do the work, drive the equipment, but not drive itself, so the whole thing being pulled by a team of horses, the tractor engine driving the ploughing mechanism. There has also been a relaxing of the telephone rule, as some of the community are now employed outside, they need to be contactable by phone. So a little kiosk is built on someone’s property, away from the house, and this is where the community telephone lives. It seems each little community has its schism, a break from rules as and when required, but then there are breaks away when some find it unacceptable.

As Jean and Wendy said before me… it is going to take a while for all this to settle in, the effects of this week to filter through and show its effects in my work and thinking…

A great great day.

Big grin.

The tour was amazing…

Went to the Octagon Gallery in Westfield… lovely little gallery in the basement of the Patterson Library, showing a range of regional artists’ work… fell in love with some pedestal ceramic bowls with feet, fun, brightly coloured… easily pleased, me!

http://www.pattersonlibrary.info/octagon-art-gallery.html

Then Chautauqua Institution community, which reminded me of Portmeirion. Although its conception more organic than that place, it had a claustrophobia about it, small cottages that had been gradually built in place of tents originally for a methodist camp, now totally ecumenical, but economically exclusive now. Visiting it out of season was interesting, some of the houses open and beautiful, brightly painted with lovely fret work, wood clad exteriors, open porches. Others, being protected from the weather blowing in off the partially still frozen Chautauqua lake, are tented, reminiscent of their beginnings. Tailor-made closely fitted canvas, covering just porches, just the lake facing frontage, or in some cases the entire cottage. Thomas Edison’s cottage was entirely covered. Any construction work has to be done off-season, so it was a hive of industry. The institution itself now hosts all manner of community activity, courses, arts etc. Interesting place….

http://www.ciweb.org/

Also, holding the sign outside to its word we pulled into the drive of the Portage Hill art gallery, off season open by appointment or chance! Good to see a high quality selection of regional arts and crafts of all varieties… chatted for ages to the owner and artist Audrey Dowling… I say chatted… I whispered occasionally… my voice still rubbish, and being nursed carefully in the hope I can actually do more than whisper at the artist talk this evening!

http://www.portagehillgallery.com/

We also visited Sharon Bartoo, a weaver… An amazing woman, showing obsession in artists and craftspeople the world over knows no bounds. We all say to each other, “are you mad?” as one artists obsession and attention to detail seems ridiculous and unreasonable, yet our own perfectly normal!