Threads

Well it’s properly over now. The babies have come home and are shoved in those big blue Ikea bags, waiting for me to find them a home. The song is over, the fat lady sang. I sang all the way home in the car, loudly, you know, in the way that you try to sing loudly at funerals?

So all those half-baked, half-written, half-formed, half-arsed ideas I’ve had need to become fully formed. I need to get them out there, into the big wide world. I need to apply for stuff. Get myself seen. Self-publicise.

So next week I write.

Get myself organised.

Clear my studio/dining room

Start again… today is the first day of….

I don’t want this to sound like one huge trumpet blowing exercise, but I’m having a really good week. The purpose of this blog is not just to tell you readers what I’m up to, what and how I’m thinking, but also to remind myself how I felt, how it was to be in a particular place at a particular time. So that maybe when I’m having a grim week, I can look back fondly on this time.

I’m sat at the moment in the foyer, looking at the “babies” twirling in the air currents, and listening to my song. People have told me they love/like/dance to/hum along with my song. The security guys that have been here all week tell me they like it, they’re not driven mad by it… it’s only Wednesday, they’ve got till 4pm Sunday, so it might happen! I’m not fed up of it yet, and I’ve been living and breathing it for the last 6 months or so… maybe even more! But that may be an ego thing! Haha! I never believe it when singers say they don’t listen to themselves… surely that must be nonsense? False modesty? I’ve written two songs to the point of having them properly recorded, and I love listening to them! The second one is better than the first, I think, and the third one, in my head, I’m sure will be better still, in terms of clarity of thought, execution and production.

Thursday:

In reading and commenting on Marion’s blog: www.a-n.co.uk/p/2157883/, she has shed light on my own process. I wrote a song to go with my first assessment in the first year of my MA, the Lullaby. It wasn’t really ready to play with that piece, so was finished for the next assessment point. It linked the two “episodes” if you like. The making comes first, then the song, but the song initiated by the making, gets played with the next episode of making…. That sounds like nonsense, but I hope you know what I mean.

So the work that is up at the moment, is pushing words into my head, through the reactions of other people to the work, and ideas and language that insinuates itself into my brain from looking at it, living with it. The words that arise from this process, will appear with the next episode of making. Thank you Marion for making me think about this part of my practice that is still new, and needs more exploration.

Invigilation (Part 1)

Before.

I came in early and have done the rounds, turning on a huge variety of technical equipment. Some people have left brilliant instructions, some people none. Some appliances (sorry Bo) due to my incompetence probably, have been rendered ineffectual and useless and inoperable and I’m apologetic and will try harder. We might be able to put it right with a pair of bolt cutters……

I can hear a few people shuffling round the studios, I can hear my own music in between the traffic, and the screams of another artist locked in the basement. Well, her film is anyway.

I’ve got my results, subject to the usual confirmations, and I’m pretty happy really. Especially as when I started two years ago there were moments I doubted I was up to the challenge. In a little while I am to be given feedback. Even though I know I did ok, I’m still apprehensive. As much I think, because who will keep me on the straight and narrow now? I will have to rely on the other people, not the Tutors With Authority. But then on the other hand, from now on, I can pretend everything is worth a distinction, and carry on smiling regardless!

Invigilation (Part 2)

After

Need a drink now.

Well that was very jolly. I feel well equipped to go into the world and be an Artist. I shall carry on rebelliously quilting, life drawing, shed building, singing, recording, and yes, performing… despite their dead-pan expressions the examiners were apparently impressed with my performance… it hit the spot! So onwards and upwards.

P.S. I’ve just shown Jo how to tie a new knot. She is far too excited by it. Don’t you love an artist with an obsession?

How brilliant was that?

First night of the show, private view, posh frock, girl shoes, too much merlot! Lots of people to talk to about my work: friends, family, people I knew, people I didn’t. Flowers, presents, hugs, kisses and ‘thank you’s.

This morning, my feet are killing me, the girl shoes have gone back in the wardrobe – they have given my feet a hangover, but my head is fine!

I’m back in there today, on front desk duty, meeting and greeting the public. This is great, because as my work is in the foyer, I can do both things at once!

I didn’t take a single photo – I didn’t have time, so busy was I fraternising. I will take some of the work today, and tomorrow, I shall don the posh frock again, for the rest of my family who will visit then, and get someone to take one or two of me amongst it all. (oh God, that means I’ll have to wear the shoes again – how do you heel-wearing women do it? I strongly feel that shoes are a feminist issue. They are a plot to stop us running away, and to keep us in one place, preferably sitting, (or lying?) down).

Having been so fearful of the end of the course, I will of course, miss it terribly, but I can see many ways forwards. I have loads of ideas and loads of ambition. Why has it taken me till middle age to find ambition for goodness sake? I hope to live to an active, lucid, old age, to enable me to get lots done.

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Last performance today. I must say I’m relieved. It has been interesting, but not a totally joyful experience performing for assessors. Compared to the feeling I have after a recording session, where I feel I’ve achieved something, and have a product to prove it, the performance has been a bit, well, flat (as my voice is, sometimes). This is interesting because I always thought I was a process person. Seems I am greedy and want the product too. Probably so that everyone appreciates how obsessive I am. Maybe it is because usually, when I have performed (on those few occasions) and have had a “proper” audience, I have an instant reaction. Assessors stand po-faced with notebooks. I won’t get their considered reaction for days.

So… in a bid to go out today feeling jolly, ready to do it all again, I shall post the recording.

Written and produced by Elena Thomas and Dan Whitehouse; vocals and sounds by Elena; guitars and percussion by Dan; Violin by Tom Bounford, who turned up and blew me away with his ideas, which added something very special, and certainly a tinge more madness than even Dan and I had managed. Thanks to both!

Keep Calm

Do ..what I say

Not ..what I do

Make do and mend

Don’t throw it all away

Darn the holes they won’t offend

Please do just what I say

Do ..what I say

Not ..what I do

Keep calm carry on

Don’t lose your temper now

Smooth the creases, iron on

Never start a row/ its not worth it now

Do ..what I say

Not ..what I do

Least said, soonest mended

Keep the peace with all

Never give up … til the end

How the mighty fall.

Keep calm carry on

Don’t lose your temper now

Smooth the creases, iron on

Never start a row/ its not worth it now

Do ..what I say

Not ..what I do

It’ll all come out

It’ll all come out in the wash

Don’ t wash your dirty linen in public

Lyrics © Elena Thomas 2012

http://soundcloud.com/elena-thomas/keep-calm-loop-…

(The piece playing in the exhibition is on a long loop, this just has one join so you can hear how it works)