Threads

I think I’m quite suggestible. If someone I like and/or respect has a thought about my work, I’m all set to say “That’s a good idea!” and set off down that path. It can take me quite an effort of will to think it through carefully to make sure it really is a good idea, and really does fit with how I’M thinking.

This is the problem I’m having with the music and textiles. Originally they did sit happily in my head and sketchbook together. Synchronised. People have been very kind and complimentary about the lullaby, and a couple have said I shouldn’t over complicate things. The song could stand on its own. I know this. But that was never the original intention. The textile pieces could also stand alone. I know that too. I’m also wondering about my ownership of the song. The concept is mine, but its execution is collaborative, and tangled and lovely! The textiles are mine all mine. In terms of the art, the song is my idea, but I’ve had lots of help from Dan and could not have got anywhere near how it is now on my own. That’s the whole point of collaboration surely? If I was not using this for my MA, I wouldn’t be even worried. I’d stick up a label with both our names on and keep going.

I don’t really know what I’m asking here? Just writing what I’m thinking in the hope that all will become clear or someone will come up with an answer for me!

Perhaps I should describe a bit more…

I have the baby dress which has appeared photographed here before (post no24) with a bonnet embroidered with sshh…shh…sh…sshhh…shh ssh….and so on, with felt pads inserted to protect delicate ears. (See attached photos) These may be displayed on a doll, or framed in old pine drawers… not decided yet… Lullaby (lyrics on post no22) will play on a 5 min (ish) loop.

Tell me your thoughts my astute e-friends!

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* very very cheap headphones are crap, no stereo! As someone very wise once said “you get what you pay for”. So I’ll not be sending to Japan for the mp3 player that costs 1p, no postage then.

* finished hanky

* washed quilts, they got wetter, weather forecast wrong

* Lullaby is sounding great (well I think so) last recording session on it on Oct 5th, may have something to play you then.

* washing instruction idea is rubbish

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Lots of people to talk to yesterday. I think I’m approaching a bit of a crossroads in my work, and I’m finding it a bit scary.

TEXTILES=SECURITY BLANKET

Elliot Smith (Waltz no2, see obsessions below) wrote “leave me alone in the place where I make no mistakes, in the place where I have what it takes”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBxYfLqKyew

This MA that I’m doing though… what would be the point in finishing it, and my final show looking like it could have been made at the beginning?

I have a group tutorial coming up. I’m thinking of showing NONE of the textiles I’ve been working on… just playing the sound stuff. I know the textiles are good, they work, they are interesting. I have confidence in my skill, and in the results. Time to put my neck on the block eh?

feeling a bit nauseous….

Right Then.

List of things to do this weekend:

* see how the very very cheap wireless headphones work now I’ve got the right sort of batteries.

* finish embroidering the handkerchief and send it off

* wash some quilts

* check weather forecast BEFORE washing quilts

* work on the lullaby a bit more, paying particular attention to the outro

* do some research on washing instruction diagrams. Think they might be adaptable.

This of course is in addition to the usual joys of family life. I start my day sat up in bed with tea, toast and laptop… thinking, writing, scribbling in sketch book… obsessionally listening to the same song over and over. I have to do this with headphones, as the rest of the world would be driven mad by it and would think I was insane.

I can become totally involved in a song. It grabs me in some way and I have to keep on listening to it. Then suddenly I stop. I have no idea what causes the start or the stop. In between the ones that catch me, I’m a perfectly normal music fan.

Want to know what the latest ones are?

Over the last year I’ve listened to the following songs probably HUNDREDS of times. Am I the only one that does this sort of thing?

Elbow: Great Expectations

Doves: Sea Song

Ian Brown: F.E.A.R.

Agnes Obel: Avenue

Dan Whitehouse: Needles, Pins and all Sharp Things

Elliot Smith: Waltz no2

Lisa Hannigan: Slishy Splashy

and currently, with particular attention to the outro….

Kathryn Williams: Little Black Numbers

http://youtu.be/eRAPh0fFUEU

If anyone can think of a link/common denominator (other than a bent towards Manchester I’ve just noticed) let me know – it could help with my treatment!

Tuesday. Day Off… and yes, it does warrant the capital letters.

Since my blog last Wednesday when I was bemoaning the fact that my Day Off was the day before university, not after, I have changed my mind about the fact.

Yes, Real Life has got in the way of Fantasy Artist Life, but I think that’s ok. My brain carries on sifting and sorting the input while I get on with the other stuff. By the time it gets round to the next Tuesday, things are clearer. So I will be able to spend today in organised thought and action, rather than spending the time in an over-stimulated frantic frame of mind, unable to see the wood for the trees.

Fantasy Artist Life though, is about to lose the capitals, then probably the Fantasy too. Remember the Big Idea (more capitals, sorry) I had a few posts ago? Well, now I’ve done a few research visits, and taken some photos and done some drawings and had a think and a chat, and written notes for the proposal, it has got smaller in my head, but bigger on the page. These changes that are happening in my head are the most fascinating of all. The creature who used to sit on my shoulder and giggle is now sat open-mouthed at my audacity!

A little bit of thinking, prompted by Wednesday has managed to seep through…

My research will be presented as a quilt, not an essay. An essay would be easier. I could pin down the relationships, skewer them to the page, say “There!” and move on. The quilt idea is not like this. (I know I have talked a bit about it here before – late July or early August). Talked about it on Wednesday, and I know the idea will work and grow, and continue to make associations as time goes on. It’s even open to other people making contributions and establishing different connections between the bits of writing I discover and create. My art work can slot into it, as can the occasional song. Unfortunately, for assessment purposes, I will also have to write something to explain to the marker how it should be “read”. How many words will this need to be? Why didn’t I just write the bloody essay if I have to write anyway? This is the point at which I feel like a student, not like an artist. I think I shall purloin a selection of hats, in order to indicate to myself and others which role is prominent at any particular time. Today’s hat will be changed at lunchtime, and at 4.30. Some days a spinning device might be required.