Threads

Right, well, I’m forcing myself to settle down to read, and when I do, it’s all fine, and I’m absorbed (Helene Cixous on language… fascinating).

But what I really want to do is sew. Tiny tiny stitches, following my handwriting so slowly it becomes nonsensical, I get no sense of the words by doing this, just faithfully following a scrawled piece of writing. I like the way that some words become abstracted somehow by this process. I’m following the line blindly, trusting what the pen line did the day before. Stitching before it disappears. What I do find though, is that it is repetitive, mantra-like, meditative. I don’t think about the text, but I do think. This is when I do most of my thinking, when I’m immersed in a task that is easy, yet totally engrossing, mindless, yet mindful.

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Ha Ha Ha! I’ve now turned on the little switch that allows for “Blogger Stupidity” and the comments section is now enabled! Thank you Jane for pointing this out to me!

The strap line for this blog includes “text”, and I haven’t really mentioned it much.

I feel I should, as the whole point of doing this was to get feedback, a critique, some discussion at least.

I only started writing at the end of last year. The work I have been doing about children and parents, I felt, needed a soundtrack, so I started looking for a lullaby. I couldn’t find one that said the right things. So I wrote my own. With the help of Dan Whitehouse ( www.dan-whitehouse.com ), it now has a melody, thanks to a process that included much tinkering and emailing of mp3 files backwards and forwards… talk about steep learning curve! I’m hoping that we will be able to record it properly later in the summer. Then I might reveal it to you in all it’s glory!

But meanwhile, I’ve opened the floodgates it seems… I’ve written quite a lot of stuff – some I’m quite happy with, some rubbish. But i do feel I should expose some of this writing here. So I’ve chosen the piece I wrote about and then stitched onto, the petticoat… there’s a mention and photo of it in an earlier post.

I’m new to this writing lark, so would welcome helpful criticism:

Parts of me, and my life are worn out, torn, threadbare.

In need of repair.

Some bits you can see through

Some bits you don’t dare.

Holes have been abandoned.

Unloved homes of old.

Some holes have been darned, embroidered, are bold.

Blatant rips in the fabric, rules disobeyed.

Rebellions displayed.

Some tears are pulled together by me,

Stitched up to hope they go unnoticed.

Some pinned together by my friends, embarrassed

My life as ancient petticoat

Covered by a respectable layer,

Only shown to a few,

Those who love me whatever.

Yellowed with age, spotted and stained

With mishaps, accidents and deliberate attacks

Parts of me and my petticoat are unwearable,

Unforgiveable, unlovable.

So I cover them up.

But I’m told those are the best bits,

The Greatest Hits

The bits you love me for.

The Big Idea

I have lots of small ideas. Hundreds. They have to shuffle themselves around so I can find room to work and focus on one or two (or three) at a time. That’s great. I’m not complaining. If I never have a new idea again I’ve probably got enough to keep me going and making for quite some time.

But these are small ideas. I flit about.

And then suddenly I have found I have a BIG IDEA. It scares me, and I’m pushing it back, but it won’t go away.

I think it’s a good idea. It’s got “legs” as they say. I’m talking to people about it. My friends like it, but they may just be being polite.

This is the first idea I’ve had that I’m going to need serious financial help with. That’s made me panic a bit too. I read the Arts Council web pages, then need to lie down in a darkened room.

I have an artist on one shoulder telling me to do it. Then goodness knows what else on the other shoulder telling me to get over myself and forget it.

Tricky huh?

in case you are interested, this week I seem to be only listening to music beginning with A…. Adem, Agnes Obel, Angus and Julia Stone, Aqualung…

I’ve just spent a bit of time reviewing whose blogs I’ve been reading here and why. The “threads” of my title seems apt. I am drawn to those who have similar thoughts, rather than those who work in similar materials to me, or have similar outcomes. This shouldn’t surprise me.

My thoughts range across the ideas of collaboration, philosophy, isolation, my online presence, and just how to manage being an artist without bankrupting myself.

here’s the list:

(in no particular order)

Jane Boyer – Working in Isolation

Nicola Dale – The Collaborator

Tamarin Norwood – What the Matter is

Julie Dodd – Day to Day Life

Hayley Harrison – Something’s Happening

I notice they are all women.

Is that merely coincidence?