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When I first started out on the pursuance of some sort of art practice, I laboured under a bunch of misapprehensions, misunderstandings, and misconceptions about what me as an artist should look  like. For a very short time at the beginning, I thought I should paint. I denied my quilts’ existence. That was never going to work. I learned, through the process of the Artist Teacher Scheme (which I now find myself temporarily leading) and subsequently the MA in Art Practice and Education at Birmingham City University… in that glorious Victorian School of Art on Margaret St… that the shape of me as an artist was not ever going to be like anyone else. I learned about other artists and saw that the work that I loved was the work that came directly from the person. Raw, honest, real life. So I began a tentative process of trying to find out what I was. That is vaguely when this blog started just over four years ago. It seems like only yesterday, and yet feels like a lifetime away. I feel those first entries were written by a different me… I was a different shape then… the place I held in the world was different.

 

I feel more me now than I ever have I think… scales have fallen away. I know myself better, and I certainly like myself better. I know what I want now and how to make sure I get it. Confidence is an over used word perhaps… and this feels more like conviction than confidence. I have the confidence to demand what I want in terms of my work and my life, because I have that conviction that it is right for me, and for my work.

 

I have no illusions that my work will suddenly make it big, that I will become some sort of Big Art Cheese. But I know that the work I do now comes from my heart, comes from some of the raw parts. Some of the prettiest embroidery and the sweetest songs have come from the most raw. And yet I cannot leave it raw and exposed. The process of making it a different shape is like therapy. The process makes it easier (for me)to understand. To leave it raw and unchecked to me seems pointless. That might be the shape of another artist, but it isn’t the shape of me. I am a middle class, middle aged, white woman in the middle of England. Some of my recent work is about reputation, appearance, hiding the self – the bras being a case in point. It is who I am. But my processes are aware now. I experiment with how much to reveal. Some of the text I have written is partially obscured, can’t bear to expose all at once. Some confessions are couched in metaphor, or in the voice of another. I mix everything up with stories from other women… in a bid to disguise which bits are me.

 

Knowing the shape of me on the inside somehow makes me fonder of the shape of me on the outside. I’ve forgiven myself. I’m fifty four, wrinkly, fat, hairy in all the wrong places, bits of me don’t work properly. I wear clothes I like. My hair really is, often like a bird’s nest. But I quite like it.

But getting to know what’s happening on the inside of me, projects a different shape. I swear quite a lot, and sometimes I see people wince. Sometimes I apologise, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I am quite reserved. Antisocial. Sometimes I am way too much. My influences are all over the place… music… poetry… art… second hand shops… food… family.. friends… talking to people… not talking to people…

 

But this is all part of the artist I explore, and get to know better every day. The better I know the shape of me, the better my work feels.

 

When I am talking to students, or emerging artists, I look for the bit that’s really them. It might be obvious, or it might be the bit they are most reluctant to talk about, but that’s where the juice is.

I love art that is about life, not about the intellectual philosophical theories of art… if anyone sees that in my work, it’s their problem not mine. I’m not that shape.

 


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Yawn!

(That’s tired rather than bored!)

I feel I should blog about it… but quite weary!

I’m just going to say that live music works well in the gallery. I will be organising more of this.

The gallery looks great, Steve Evans’ work looks fantastic on the nice newly painted white walls.

Dave Sutherland was fab… I love his songs and his playing.

He took advantage of the fact I’d had a couple of beers and made me sing too! Turns out, actually, after a couple of beers I don’t have to be made to do anything, I just say “Yeaaaahhh!”

But it was a bit of a practice I suppose for July.

If anyone out there fancies having a go at having an ArtSpace Conversation, let me know… I’m going to be pairing people up in my head now all the time!

 

so… That’s it for now. I’m going for a lie down!

(It’s not a hangover, I’m just tired!)

 


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I’m up to my ears in white paint and printed matter…

I decided that the gallery space next to my studio at ArtSpace Dudley, could be used to get people together that might not necessarily do so otherwise. I am, as you know, evangelical about my art and music, and how the two work together, and how they stimulate each other, and inspire and prompt… So, because I didn’t really have much else to do, I have organised the first of what I hope to be many such events.

One visual artist is introduced to one singer songwriter and I leave them to their own devices. I give them the space, a glass of something nice to drink and perhaps a nibble or two. I invite a load of people and see what happens.

I hope it works, because I think it’s a great idea!

If you find yourself in the area, please come, listen, see….

 

 


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It doesn’t take me long to bounce back…

Collaboration then….

It’s a thing I do, and I love it.
In the early days, I had an couple of failed attempts, because I didn’t understand. I thought I should find someone whose work I liked, and work with them! Recipe for disaster!

It only dawned on me when I found a collaboration that worked, what I’d been doing wrong. My first successful collaboration was with Dan Whitehouse, who I’m still working with on my current project, “Nine Women”. A musician, singer songwriter… Not visual art, not textiles…. A completely different skill set! Aha! It was, and still is, like playing in someone else’s toy box. The next was with Bo Jones, visual artist yes, but again with a completely different skill set. There are two things that happen, one is you have no area of competition in terms of media, each person remains the expert in their own field. The other is the stuff you learn from each other. I’ve got so many more skills from working with these two, I can’t believe it! I like to think I’ve passed on a few things too. I’ve learned not just about the arts involved, but the peripheral skills, such as planning, promotion, marketing, and how to retain a calm professional demeanour under pressure (still practising that one). The differences make it productive, creative, interesting.

Similarities need to be in a different area… They need to be there… A similar work ethic, a similar opinion on quality of the work that the public sees and hears. A similar attitude to life, what is ultimately important to you. This fosters a mutual respect.

This week was collaboration week at the songwriters circle. We split into fairly random groups for an hour or so, and see what happens, then report back to the group. This week I had the good fortune, cat that got the cream stuff…. I was with Ian Sutherland, Andy Jenkins and Dave Sutherland (no relation). Oh my goodness a girl could get giddy with so much talent in the room! I do words, and I can find a melody over the chords, and a harmony vocal now and then… But I don’t play an instrument.
We started with a few “broken” lyrics from my notebook, and while Andy and I figured out more words, Dave and Ian plugged away on their guitars…. And to be honest it still seems like magic to me… At the end of an hour we had a song… A good one… Then Andy got out his guitar and added the most amazing solo…. Terrific. Sets my heart beating and my cheeks aglow!

An interesting thing happens in a good collaboration. I’ve noticed it before, and I noticed it on Monday. All ideas go in, good, bad and indifferent…. Then people say yes, or no… They say it instinctively and quickly, then you move on and nobody sulks because they didn’t get their own way. If there is a difference of opinion, it is briefly discussed, recorded, then shelved to come back to, by which time it either fits, or it doesn’t, no further discussion required. This is how we managed to write a song in an hour. I’ve never known a buzz like it. Songwriting feeds your soul. Songwriting with people as talented as this makes it soar!

Let’s do it again!

This month I have loads of recording sessions booked, after a month of hardly any. I can’t wait to get back up to the mic.


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