Threads

This afternoon I’m sat with knee recovering in the recommended elevated position, with the sun streaming though the french windows.

I have a sense of calm about me, a love of the free world we are fortunate to live in, and creativity abounds!

The Arts Council have just offered me a research and development grant which will keep me going for a whole year. I am to develop the musical and sound parts of my practice, working towards and culminating in a project and installation called “Nine Women” next summer and beyond.

Please follow the link to the project blog. I have no idea whether this one will continue alongside, or whether the project will be so all-consuming, all my writing will be concentrated over there… we shall see!

Feeling pretty damn good to tell you the truth.

Thanks Arts Council!

I’ve been talking to a young friend about balance.

Actually, she is the daughter of friends of ours, but recently, through Facebook, across the oceans (she is currently in Australia) this bright young artist and I have found we have things in common, other than my memories of hysterical laughter at her dressing up as a very young child, to “entertain” us!

A small detour… this is one of the absolute indisputable joys of being an artist… the people I count as friends range from 20 year olds to 85 yr olds. Their age is immaterial, race, gender, sexuality, class, employment, income, where they live, all are immaterial.Their brains however, are the thing… the way they talk, fast and loose, funny, creative, political, subversive… I bloody love it, long may it continue!

Anyway… said friend is due to come back to the UK after a few years travelling about and looking at the world through her eyes and her camera lens, and is looking at her options. I’m not sure if I am the right person to ask, and wonder if her parents would be that chuffed about advice I’m offering – actually, I’m careful not to use the word “advice”, and repeat at regular intervals that this is just an opinion, and others are available, and should be sought!

Balance is the key though. She requires a certain financial stability – don’t we all – but does not want to lose sight of who she is in a job that could consume her… she is looking at teaching among other things. She is at the other end of the lens of this to me… I have given up the salary for the freedom, she is looking for the salary to give her the freedom…

She would be an amazing teacher, I can just see her in front of a group of recalcitrant teenagers… she is funny, intelligent, wise, open, trusting, brave, creative… she would be great! But… when I look at other artist/teachers I know, who are also those things, they are now exhausted, cynical, fed up… and I would hate to see this happen to my friend…

So what do I offer up? Just an opinion, and a bit of world-weary experience, along with hopefully, a load of enthusiasm for the freedom to think how you want to. What sort of advice would I give to the 25 year old me?

A small amount of financial security goes a long way, if you’re not that bothered about spending money on “stuff”. We are so fortunate in this country, to be so free to be who we want to be. Free (ish) to get an education that can get us where we want to be, do what we want to do, with the people we want to be with…

So, my young friend… I watch with great interest and pride as you throw yourself at life! I can’t wait to see what you do, how you do it, and what you do along the way.

I can’t wait to see the artwork you produce – I don’t know what it will be, but I love it already!

www.curiousrosephotography.com 

It was predictable really… A basic character flaw.

Although I spent a whole day in the studio last week, with the explicit idea that I should sort materials and equipment for the coming couple of weeks when I wouldn’t be able to drive to Dudley or climb the stairs when I get there, I still don’t seem to have what I need here.

I have the pens to do some ink drawing, but have left behind the tissue, tracing and layout paper I want to draw on. I have brought home the bra I want to embroider, but the materials I wanted to use on a different bra. I have my current song notebook here, but the lyrics to the song I want to record are in the old book, on the desk.

It’s like when you spend £100 in Sainsbury’s, then realise when you’ve unpacked it all into the cupboards, that you still don’t have the makings of a single complete meal, and end up with one person having 3 fish fingers and the other person having an omelette, but with no cheese.

(So you text the person who is still out and tell them to bring in a curry at 10:30pm.)

I’m thinking I should just draw a load of bra hooks and eyes on the leaflet I brought back from the hospital telling me how to avoid DVT. It might prove to be a nice sketchbook diversion, marking the event, but not really very useful.

The question on my mind is…Do I send Mike in with a list and EXPLICIT instructions? He is terrified of this and backs away from me, shaking his head, holding his hands up, palms facing me, furrowed brow… muttering “no…. no…. not me…..”

I’m not going to shout if he gets it wrong? Why would I shout?

But who else? Any volunteers?

*********

My brain is in that state of limbo again. Waiting. My body joins in, waiting for bits to work again, get stronger. I do the physio, feebly bending my knee, leaning on the dining chair, counting, while counting the amount of days it has been since I sent in the ACE application. I make a decision to increase the amount of bends according to the number of days. It isn’t going to be a particularly effective way to go about things, but the sense of symmetry appeals to me.

Because I currently have no money, the limbo brain is being pushed to think of ideas to raise some cash. I want to make things allied to my current practice, that might inform it, in process or outcome, but that are saleable. Totally impossible. I neither have the “status” to do this (by this, I mean a ready collecting audience that flock to my exhibitions and strip the walls) or the ideas at the moment. If I had the right paper, I might experiment with the layered drawings… small pieces … little keyhole/eyeful bra drawings… stick photos here and Facebook and twitter and my website and see what happens….

I’d better send someone into the studio then…

Promise, I won’t shout – I just need some see through paper – how hard can it be?

I think I’m marking time with the work while I’m a little out of action…

I’m waiting to hear from a couple of funding applications that will keep me going for the year, so I don’t want to “go off on one” but need to stay focussed on the work in hand, without getting too carried away until I know how I can progress.

Last time I did “go off on one” it was because I couldn’t work in the usual way because my hands were affected. This time I am still able to sew and draw through my recovery period. I feel less “mad” this time.

So I’m doing a bit of drawing, writing lyrics, getting distracted by the internet – mostly wandering around youtube for music… and spending an inordinate amount of time wrestling with post operative hosiery. I swear, one day I’ll do a project using them… blasted things!

Today, I get to take off one layer of dressing… the enormous layer of padding and bandage… I will be able to get my trousers on! hurray! Maybe I should do something with all that crepe? Perhaps I will just do an interim medical project… ha!

I am a dreadful patient.

Impatient patient.

I don’t really have anything meaningful to write this morning. But, I am going into hospital for a little minor knee surgery this afternoon and felt the need… I am an optimistic sort of person, and have no fear of surgery, but a fatalistic view of general anaesthetics!

I have, optimistically, gathered materials and equipment from the studio to have at hand at home until I am sufficiently recovered to drive/climb extra stairs etc.

This gathering was done with absolutely no sense of order or thought. I seemed unable to make decisions, so grabbed a couple of the bras, a sketchbook, some basic sewing equipment, some pens and pencils. An Elena Thomas Basic Survival Kit if you like… I will have my laptop on my lap probably at all times other than while on the table… Can’t have the surgeon interfering with my social media can I?

So… leaving you with a thought while I’m away, which I’m assured will be less than 24 hours…

Music… have a listen to:

Clem Snide “Bread”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YSV0dUUEd4

Stick it on repeat and I’ll be back soon.

PS. Home now, survived!