I like my blog.
I can write how I speak. I can prattle on a bit, go down cul-de-sacs, take a tangent or two, and meander slowly back to where I started…. Or not!
It’s when it comes to “Important Writing” I have problems. I write essays like an 8 yr old… or at least, I think I do. Other people’s writing is always more intelligent, cleverly structured, properly argued. I always feel mine should be peppered with “yeah, but” and “ ner ner, told you so” and “I think you’ll find I’m right!” and even the occasional “oh f*ck off” when I encounter a standpoint I don’t understand.
So the funding application process is fraught with danger. I have no confidence that what I am writing makes any sense to anyone. I am convinced I am repetitive, leave out the important bits, presuming the funder is psychic.
I was the same with the essays for my MA. Backwards and forwards they went, till they made no sense to me either. I don’t think I learned much about the process of doing it, despite the best efforts of my tutor.
Last night at this year’s MA show at Margaret Street, I met a few people about to embark upon the PhD option… I truly and deeply think they are mad. I wondered about it for about a week. Then I said “I have to read HOW MUCH?” and “I have to write HOW MANY words? No thanks. The thought of juggling 50,000+ words when I have trouble getting to grips with 500 brings me out in a cold sweat.
I admire these people greatly. They are doing something I feel I am never going to be equipped to do.
But I bet they can’t do a decent French Knot for toffee!
