It was predictable really… A basic character flaw.
Although I spent a whole day in the studio last week, with the explicit idea that I should sort materials and equipment for the coming couple of weeks when I wouldn’t be able to drive to Dudley or climb the stairs when I get there, I still don’t seem to have what I need here.
I have the pens to do some ink drawing, but have left behind the tissue, tracing and layout paper I want to draw on. I have brought home the bra I want to embroider, but the materials I wanted to use on a different bra. I have my current song notebook here, but the lyrics to the song I want to record are in the old book, on the desk.
It’s like when you spend £100 in Sainsbury’s, then realise when you’ve unpacked it all into the cupboards, that you still don’t have the makings of a single complete meal, and end up with one person having 3 fish fingers and the other person having an omelette, but with no cheese.
(So you text the person who is still out and tell them to bring in a curry at 10:30pm.)
I’m thinking I should just draw a load of bra hooks and eyes on the leaflet I brought back from the hospital telling me how to avoid DVT. It might prove to be a nice sketchbook diversion, marking the event, but not really very useful.
The question on my mind is…Do I send Mike in with a list and EXPLICIT instructions? He is terrified of this and backs away from me, shaking his head, holding his hands up, palms facing me, furrowed brow… muttering “no…. no…. not me…..”
I’m not going to shout if he gets it wrong? Why would I shout?
But who else? Any volunteers?
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My brain is in that state of limbo again. Waiting. My body joins in, waiting for bits to work again, get stronger. I do the physio, feebly bending my knee, leaning on the dining chair, counting, while counting the amount of days it has been since I sent in the ACE application. I make a decision to increase the amount of bends according to the number of days. It isn’t going to be a particularly effective way to go about things, but the sense of symmetry appeals to me.
Because I currently have no money, the limbo brain is being pushed to think of ideas to raise some cash. I want to make things allied to my current practice, that might inform it, in process or outcome, but that are saleable. Totally impossible. I neither have the “status” to do this (by this, I mean a ready collecting audience that flock to my exhibitions and strip the walls) or the ideas at the moment. If I had the right paper, I might experiment with the layered drawings… small pieces … little keyhole/eyeful bra drawings… stick photos here and Facebook and twitter and my website and see what happens….
I’d better send someone into the studio then…
Promise, I won’t shout – I just need some see through paper – how hard can it be?
