I don’t really like New Year.
There’s the regulation jollity thing. Actually I find it depressing. Quite often I just want to be left alone, its passing just another day into night into day.
Drunkenness depresses me. Hangover pride depresses me more.
I am reminded of people for whom jollity, regulation or otherwise, is not an option. it makes me feel not exactly sad, but perhaps a little flat.
I also hate the whole resolution thing. If I want to make changes to my life on November 26th, I’ll do it then. Why wait? Resolutions, brought about by a sense of societal requirement and guilt are doomed to failure. Then more sadness and a sense of disappointment and lower self esteem… because we need that, right?
Do I sound like a miserable cow here?
I don’t think that I am. I think I am actually generally, quite a positive person, I find joy all over the place… it is what allows me to survive as a professional artist: I have few material needs, and get overly excited by soft old fabrics and pencils arranged in colour order.
But what I strive for is an evenness of joy spreading, not this huge investment (emotional and financial) in one week of the year that will make us feel better and put everything right.
I don’t like Valentine’s day either. Love me all year round or fuck off.
However…
Due to the planned end of my Arts Council funded project period being 31st December 2015, I am finding myself in a natural state of review and assessment. Coincidence I assure you. I include as part of my practice, regular, possibly seasonal, reviews of practice and progress and planning which involves large pieces of paper and a variety of brightly coloured felt pens. Laugh if you like, but it works for me.
I will have to officially review my project for ACE… but then I expect I will wait until I get a new studio to do the next Big Paper exercise. I’m keen to get on with it.
This morning I have made an appointment to go look at a studio…
This can’t go on forever…
(I keep trying to upload a photo of my studio packed into boxes, but it won’t load… but you know what stuff in boxes looks like, so just imagine that…)
By the end of February I would like to be in a new space, or if not in a new space, at least know where it will be… Time will tell eh? Life has a way of scuppering plans. But what I have found, because I am getting on a bit now, and have lots of experience, is that the problem with planning is you only plan what you can conceive of. If you leave things open, you find that life chucks stuff at you that you could never have imagined, let alone planned for!
What I do know (hope?) is that 2016 will include lots more songwriting with some great people. This is a joy. Not a small joy either, a HUGE joy… Andy, Dave and Ian, I thank you for letting me share in your talent, knowledge and passion over the last few months. I can’t believe what we have done already!
There will also be drawing, and there will be chairs, and there will be stitches…
I’ll let you know if anything else turns up!
