It’s been ages… it seems… since I was here last!
It has been a busy couple of weeks, building up to The Sitting Room’s first ever gig at the Artists’ Workhouse PV on Friday night.
We had a couple of rehearsals, and I had a bit of a worry as my throat decided to shut down… I didn’t actually lose my voice but at one stage it was extremely painful and unreliable in terms of the pitch and volume! I wait 54 years to be in a band and at the first gig I get a sore throat!
We managed though. Much was learned that can only be learned by getting out there and actually doing it. Such is life eh?
I’ve also managed to get myself into one of those slumps again. As I write this, the contents of my studio are heaped up in boxes behind me. I HAVE to find another space soon. It is doing my head in.
Emotionally I feel Fragile.
Intellectually I feel Stupid.
Physically I feel Broken.
Socially I feel Inept.
The benefit of having a blog is the knowledge that this has happened before and will undoubtedly happen again. While I have the joy of the boys in the band to buoy my spirits, my visual work lies mouldering, unable to find physical or brain space in which to flourish. I know in my heart that it will…. really… all the evidence of the past points to this. But I’m not feeling it. I am forcing myself to do tasks that should have been done weeks ago. My very small but very important tax bill was paid at the very last minute, fingers crossed that the website would be up and running and would allow me to do so (yes, phew).
Next week I have vowed to undertake more studio hunting. I have new contacts and new ideas. I keep telling myself that crossing possibilities off the list is still progress, but it doesn’t feel like it today.
I also know there is a taboo in place about such things, but fuck it… Being a pre-menstrual, pre-menopausal woman with joints that don’t work properly feels like shit. I feel like an old bag.
I KNOW that next week I will feel better. But today? Nope.
(Apologies to those who follow my Audioblog, I’ll catch up soon, when my voice is behaving itself)
