I’m an emotional human being. I react strongly to events, people, music, art.
This week has been tough. I am overwhelmed by my own responses. In order to cope without lashing out verbally in a way that’s impossible to pull back from, I withdraw from company. A few people have had emails or texts. But that’s about it.
I am, thankfully, also optimistic generally. Sometimes it takes me a while, but I get there.
Art is the route through. Work. Repetition. Simple haptic reward. The state of flow. A piece of work that takes time, concentration, but no decision making.
A linen apron. Linen threads I bought in Stockholm. Lazy daisy chain stitches and French knots. Mindless, and mindful. This is my chosen language. I am fluent in stitch. It absorbs, rewards, soothes the fevered brow.
This old apron, thin in fibre, but heavily starched is my metaphor. Delicate, fragile, but shored up by artifice. I stitch onto it to fill it. I cover it. I will keep going to the point of exhaustion and possibly pain… Although I do try not to go that far these days. The flowers and motifs I stitch will be cheerful and bright… Another layer to throw you off the scent.
I am a loud and brightly coloured human being.
Don’t be fooled.
