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I’m three days in to a new drawing and I don’t like it.

I used some green paint that is a weird texture… gritty but not in a good way, more in an accidentally got dropped in a gutter kind of way.

The pencil isn’t working on it like I feel I want it to. I’ve already cut a foot off the end of the strip because of monumental eraser-related cock up. I don’t usually use an eraser, but it was an emergency that I made worse. It was merely infected. Now amputation is the only answer.

These large drawings are an investment of time, as well as materials. By cutting off the bad bit that was fortunately close to one end, I could reassess the composition before proceeding. Before then it did have a pleasing asymmetric quality, but now it’s all a bit samey. So the question is do I carry on drawing, or do I smash another bit of Payne’s grey over it?

My indecision is leaking. My irritation is leaking… from life outside the studio to inside the studio. This often happens. And I SAY it’s what I like, what I want, but really? Not so much… This afternoon I could do with a bit of studio peace and steadiness leaking back the other way. It kind of works when I have a full day to work through it, but not in a couple of hours. That just gets me to peak calamity with no time to redress the balance.

Oh bollocks. Get the kettle on.


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