Date: 13/12/17
Time: 20.17 PM
Mood:Feeling guilty..
Listening To: Nothing (although have had Christmas songs going around my head all day..!)
Welcome to my 3rd blog post here on A-N! This is a blog about the development of myself as an artist and creating a new body of work, with the aim of having a more successful and professional business. I am hoping issues that I raise will also have an impact on artists out there who have also struggled along the way.
And I have to say I’m feeling guilty for a number of reasons..one being not having blogged on here for the last two weeks! And secondly because I have not made any more progress on the new work or looked at applying for the Arts Council Grant.
As this blog is very much a part of keeping me accountable for my progress in achieving my aim of working fully and completely for myself – I am going to be completely honest about how I am doing or what my thoughts are! And the reality is – although I have thought about the new work a lot over the past few weeks – and have primed some new canvases – nothing has been done.
Part of the reason that there has been no progress is that I am still very much involved in my other work – that is selling prints and cards of portrait & fashion based illustrations. This work is under the name ‘Bec Broomhall Arts’ and has never earned much money over the past few years I have been doing it despite me trying and working very hard. Nonetheless I had a few Christmas fairs booked over the past few months, and the last one was last Friday. So most of last week I was in preparation for this. Despite my efforts however, once again I only made just under £35.00 . The preparation and stress getting ready for this event has really lowered my energy this week! And also I have had many family commitments as well as making Christmas preparations.
But I think what has really stopped me from making progress on the new work over the past few weeks has been procrastination. I think the procrastination has been more about fear than anything else; fear of letting people down – such as my mentor – and I feel I’m already letting people down by not doing anything or not keeping in touch regularly! Also fear of ‘botching’ things as I feel I usually do or doing things on the cheap and looking tacky, fear of success – what will I do if this new work actually takes off?! And finally fear of change; I really want to move out from the family home, get my own life, pay my own bills – I want this more than anything – and yet there is massive Resistance to making a decent start on things.
There is also a stress about the transition from my old ‘illustration work’ to a more professional/Fine Art career. The ‘Bec Broomhall Arts’ branding is in many places in Wolverhampton and online. My thoughts have been ranging from ‘Do I just end this work? Facebook page/website etc? and start a fresh? despite people knowing my illustrations and still buying them?’ or ‘Do I carry on this work but just on the side and change the business name slightly so it won’t affect any new websites created for the new work?’ I have been flicking back and forth all week about what to do. However as people still buy my current prints and cards I think I will carry on with the illustration work but just on the side, limited hours each week, whilst mostly developing this more lucrative body of paintings, aiming to lead to a better business.
A post with many meandering thoughts! As always, comments and feedback are always welcome. Stay tuned for my next post very soon where I will be discussing new painting beginnings and plans.
