sitting with an unsettled feeling following a recent interview i return to this space to collect and reflect about recent times. there’s been a workshop/discussion around compassion and family in isolation and all that comes with that.
the interview was for a socially engaged project. i’m yet to hear the outcome so for now i sit with the experience and the feelings from it.
another topic within recent discussions is vulnerability. as a society are we conditioned to see this as a weakness ? certainly with a community building project i would see this as a strength. the task of the project being to build an environment where those taking part are at ease enough to be able to show it.
in recent months both my practice and myself has been through things that before covid i would not have imagined as happening. on my main website i want to update “about me” to reflect this and be an accurate and up to date about me.
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recently i’ve also talked about a non art project that i was interested in running but failed to get traction with it because i lacked the confidence in myself to get it started – despite several organisations expressing interest and willingness to fund. how might that have turned out if i was able to be supported from the point i opened up my vulnerability to the possibility that i simply needed a bit of support and encouragement?
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so post breakfast sandwich with coffee i sit looking out the front window and musing what was, what is and what might be.
i am connected to my inner self and in turn listening to what it’s telling my intellectual self.
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i now start to reflect on framework. recently i’ve been introduced to eco feminism as a theoretical framework. the notion of a framework that helps support thinking, dialogue and creativity is starting to appeal to me as a means to communicate about myself and my practice. in the recent interview having this framework to draw upon miight have been helpful for those doing the interview.
i’ve seen how the need for those commissioning to have a known outcome at the start of their project can radically hold back the potential of the achievement of the project. being overly passionate becoming a strangle hold on the situation. time will tell about the outcome of the interview. writing this is helping to processing the experience.
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this morning i’m also coming to terms with the frustrations i’ve been experiencing while working alongside another person on a development project – non art but with creative undertones. the relationship we have is based in friction and all the way through the process i’ve maintained how i want to work – as they have too. this morning i have to say i’ve thrown the metaphoric arms up and said you know what – if you need this this much you’re welcome to it. i’ve been worn down by you enough that i don’t have the energy or willingness to keep challenging your beliefs now.
where this last point leaves me becomes a point of interest and development – potentially somewhere new.
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within the about me update i intend to start to explore a theoretical framework for myself and my practice – something that is absolutely underpinned by practice – so the theoretical framework over time becomes a practical statement of intent.
