The U Turn Portraits-Part One.
“I am tired of myself to-night. I should like to be somebody else.” Oscar Wilde
The Picture of Dorian Grey
Well…my blog seems to be doing its work. After a period of illness, accompanying ennui and reflection, it seems that I have gone back stepwise as far as I can go. My intention for this project was to explore the absence of drawing in my current practice and its possible relevance to future work.
The blog has given me the mental space to play at drawing again; the process up to now has been progressive in that I have continually invented new projects for myself. During and after the long period of academic study I have had an aversion to even the thought of drawing a human-I should have known that this meant unfinished business. To fully understand I had some unpicking to do.
I began drawing in earnest as a child, when moving schools left me inadvertently friendless drawing portraits on the school bus was a great way for a shy girl to find friends and a new identity. It soon became an addiction every social activity was an excuse to draw from life. It was my coping mechanism, through hospital stays, third world countries, difficult times and fantastic times my sketch book came with me like a nervous tic.
“Art is never finished, only abandoned.” Leonardo Da Vinci
And then one day I went back to university and what had always been a support and something to be proud of, had little currency within an academic context. It became difficult to take on new concepts using such a familiar medium. Eventually I moved into the sculpture room and embraced a new medium, leaving behind thirty years of representational painting and drawing. It was tough but had the desired effect of making easier the transition to new critical and conceptual territory. And in the 4 year self imposed abstinence, I have never had a desire to make a portrait…until now.
“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist not the sitter.” Oscar Wilde.
So…I woke up the other day and just knew-that I absolutely had to draw a human. In a fit of nervous procrastination, I rushed over to favourite art shop where I was overwhelmed with sights and smells-so familiar. An artist friend was at the till and asked me how things were going, if it had been anyone else I would have sidestepped the question but she is the kind of person who demands honesty. I told her truthfully about the going backwards and the desire to draw a human. She said: “sometimes IT (the work) dictates.” I had a wonderful feeling, an exhalation of giving in to what was happening and a letting go of responsibility. I rushed home again.
“The model should only serve the very private function for the painter of providing the starting point for his excitement.“ Lucien Freud.
Luckily, we have a guest staying with us at the moment. Fig.1. Her name is Stella and she is from Argentina and sat watching: “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Her expressive face reflecting the emotionally charged content of the film.
Fig.2. Drawing someone so close to me was challenging-as I am not sure where I end and he begins…
Fig.3. There is progress here; a tension in the way Kyri couldn’t take his eyes off the drawing and being a consummate playground portraitist himself, gave me tips on how to do hair.
I really thought my drawing people days were over-and yet it seems as if these drawings mark the end of a mere (albeit 4year) interruption. I cannot wait to see what happens next.
“The aura given out by a person or object is as much a part of them as their flesh.“ Lucien Freud.
Here endeth Part 1.
