ANTIBES PAINTING
Trying my paintings in the landing/corridor space which has been allocated for the Degree Show made a huge difference to the way I viewed them. The Antibes painting changed dramatically. It needed air around it. It’s been trapped in the claustrophobic studio space.
Seeing it higher up, made me aware of the lack of tonal contrast. Areas of colour needed to be fused into larger spaces. Arriving very early on Thursday morning I mixed 3 large pots of colour and adjusted the tones sharply with large brushes creating less detail; delineated some of these shapes with vermillion lines. It now has less relevance to the suicide and more to the place itself.
Am happier with the result. I want it to stand alone and not be overwhelmed by it’s surroundings. I must be careful about the choice of other work nearby.
OTHER THINGS
I just reread bits of my blog. will try to redress the balance. Most of the blog’s been about what I’m doing not thinking… too long to organise thoughts into a cohesive sequence. .. probably why I haven’t tried. So? What to do??? just ramble on and if it doesn’t make sense too bad.
Often lie awake worrying about if I’ll have enough life left to do everything I plan in my head. Can’t sleep. Get up. make tea & toast. go on the computer selecting pictures, making plans. go back to bed. plan a video . plan a painting… pins & needled in my hands, will I still be able to paint in 5 years time? I didn’t write about the London visit…. Iwanted to spend longer soaking up the image of Yo Picasso!! those black, black eyes… I’ve lost my taste for Manet… only that stunning portrait of Berthe Morisot reached me, the rest was dreary,,, no that’s too harsh but I’ve seen better shows.
Wednesday … a good day… Matt helped me with the installation. We decided to project onto the ceiling AND walls. need to shoot more underwater clips… it’s going to be good… completley engulfing people as they enter the black space…I still want to include real water somehow…Josh has set me thinking about that again.. there must be a way???will experiment.
Robin’s portrait session 6 – 8.. tired but as soon as I started drawing.. got a second wind… such a good model..makes such a difference …wonderful bone structure…enjoyed drawing..it’s like breathing..totally absorbing..why don’t I just draw???
Thursday invited to Stoke-by Nayland Middle school.. first ever teaching post back in the 70’s!! farewell concert as school closing in July …why can’t the gov. leave education alone?? children’s voices.. so talented.. cried of course.. think most of us did. those beautiful, confident kids ..lives ahead of them…running out of time.. thoughts of death AGAIN. but a quote on the screen .. Einstein .. something like ..’no sadness at the end or when you say goodbye, just joy at having been there and been alive’… dam, I can’t remember it all .. but the sentiment’s good and profound…why am I bothered about painting better, getting a Degree? Lifes nearly over but it still matters.. the excitement of learning, discovering never ceases.. enjoyed talking to the present art teacher at Stoke, hearing what previous colleagues are doing NOW … this was so much more inspiring than reminiscing about the past..
That’s enough for now. Am going to make a power-point now.
