In the last few weeks my focus has predominantly been on exploring initial ideas through drawing and monoprinting. My issue is that I have so many ideas that I feel are hampering my ability to just get on and make work.
What I think would be beneficial is to look back over my notes for my project proposal to understand what my very first ideas were compared with the position I am currently in. I feel that once I have done this I will be able to decipher which ideas I am most excited and passionate about.
The monoprints illustrated within this post, despite being visually similar, represent quite different ideas. The text used in the first print poses the question ‘This made it into the family album?’ and references my own feelings regarding the types of photos which are included in my personal family albums. This particular image is of the back garden at my old house when the new patio was being laid down. It was only on close inspection that I realised this, however, and at first I had no idea why the photograph had been taken given the display of bras and knickers on the washing line! At this point I was, therefore, considering the significance of these types of benign events which have been documented and in turn thinking about what photographs I am drawn to and why.
The second print demonstrates my interest in including important family belongings such as baby books, scans and other documentation of my existence within my work. In this particular piece I have translated the contents of a page from my own baby book. I would’ve liked to further this particular idea, however, my baby book is far from complete (as the younger child things just weren’t as exciting the second time round!). I find this print more visually pleasing than the others I have produced as it is not merely the recreation of a previous image but of tangible evidence of my life such as the hospital bracelet and newspaper clipping. It has, I feel, more depth to it. I really hope these are things I can utilise further as my project develops.
The last print shown here is foreign to me as communicated by the text used ‘I never knew this happiness.’ This piece represents a retrospective view of family photographs before I was born and at a time when my parents were together and happy. I have no memory of them ever being together so it was strange for me to really contemplate these images. It was when viewing these that I began to consider another way my work could go, referencing my physical absence and also absence of memory. To further develop this idea I could return to a previous method of painting over photographs to symbolise this concept or potentially physically cutting into the photograph.
One initial idea which I have been working on is the 22 etchings series, one for each year of my life. For this I have selected 22 images from family photos albums which show me at every age. At this point I have etched the first 9 and am now working on the other 13, finishing with the most recent photograph at the age I am now, 22. I am hoping to print the etchings I have already completed tomorrow.
Going back to basics was definitely a good idea. It has really helped my confidence in my artwork to just draw without giving it too much thought.
As mentioned I have been predominantly looking at photographs from the first few years of my life and what I have uploaded here are sketches created from the photographs in my previous post.
I think what I have been able to illustrate in these specific sketches is the various approaches which can be taken when using just a graphite pencil, with some drawings being more detailed and others more rough or simple.
In terms of how the subject matter is portrayed in relation to the approach in drawing, I believe the more detailed and softer sketches are able to better communicate a feeling of vulnerability and the preciousness of childhood. I wonder if this type of drawing will have the same effect when using photographs of myself growing older or whether certain images may require an approach which has more attack and expression.
This week feels like it has been quite a whirlwind. After speaking to a couple of my tutors about my work I have come to realise that I spend way to much time being analytical about the concept and not enough time just letting loose with the actual artwork. Feels like it has been such a long time since I did something I was really proud of and I want to get that feeling back. With the degree show looming what better time to create artwork which I am really happy with.
Since my previous post which emphasized a need to read and research, my outlook has been completely turned on its head. Contextualization is a strength of mine and I’ve never had any real issues with explaining my work. With this said I think what is the best thing to do is to just make work, experiment, see how it pans out.
It feels like it has been a while since I just did drawings, I guess I have sometimes felt like I needed to make art which could pass as a polished piece.
So this is the solution to my problems, I didn’t know where to start…might as well start with the basics.
I have been sifting through family albums looking for images to use in my work, primarily photographs from the first 2 years of my life. After talking to a tutor about how best to approach my ideas he advised to perhaps have a chronological thread, looking at two years every week. This was in response to my project proposal in which I mentioned creating an etching for every year of my life so I would end up with 22 in all.
What I have found interesting looking at specifically the first 2 years of my life is the difference in relationships and in people. When I was a baby my parents were still together, this is something completely foreign to me as I only have memories of after they were divorced. I am intrigued to see, after looking at the rest of the photographs from my life, whether these foreign memories are the ones I am still drawn to.
I’m slightly worried about creating artwork from just photographs seeing as many of the old images I have aren’t great quality and some are blurred. I am considering creating some self-portraits from life so that I have evidence of life drawing in my body of work.
You would think after writing a 7000 word dissertation I would be glad of the opportunity to get back to some physical artwork. I find myself, however, at a bit of a loose end.
It’s so frustrating that I have so many ideas just no way of knowing how to bring them to fruition.
Whilst writing my dissertation I realised that many of my ideas from practical work do not necessarily come from looking but instead from reading. There are a few specific books I read for my dissertation that really stood out for me, allowing me to consider how best I could represent my chosen themes and subjects. I guess when I said I was going to write this blog alongside my dissertation I should’ve really stuck to it! Now my great ideas elude me!
I hope to remedy this issue by getting my hands back on those books that were so thought provoking. In the meantime I have paid a visit to the library and took out some other books which relate to my themes and processes.
From just flicking through a book illustrating the works of Annette Messager, I can already tell her work will resonate with my ideas and push me to the limits.
I must not just work within my comfort zone. I think getting started is the hardest part, knowing WHERE to start! On one of the pages of this specific book is Messager’s piece How My Friends Would Do My Portrait (1972). What I find interesting about this piece is how much more other people can say about you than perhaps you can say about yourself. This particular point makes me consider the angle at which I should approach my work from. Whilst I probably will not be asking people to draw a portrait of me, what I am beginning to consider is making work from the position of someone else in my life, maybe drawing my portrait and accompanying it with a statement which explains their relationship with me.
As I think about this idea more and more I am beginning to consider the confessional aspect which something like this may bring to my work. Looking at the work of Tracey Emin will be beneficial for me regarding this idea.
I doubt I shall have the confidence or courage to be quite as open as Emin but I like to think there are definitely some things I’d like to get off my chest…maybe confessing them in my artwork is the best way to do it.
I have never felt the need to reference my own life within my artwork.
Of course my life experiences inherently play a part in the artwork I have produced over the past 5 years or so, however, the want to directly document my own life and presence has never arisen. Why now?
People say that your teenage years are the most confusing time of your life. Sure at times it was no picnic but I find myself now, at the age of 22, more confused than I can ever recall being. What do I want to do with my life after university?
It is the looming presence of adulthood which has made me question in recent months the significance of my past in shaping who I am today. Whilst an obvious place to start would be to reference major life events, what I often tend to recall are the little things, things that no one else remembers. I apparently have a knack for remembering the completely insignificant details of my life! It is these details which are not deemed good enough to be recorded, photographed, framed and put in pride of place on the mantelpiece…but I’m interested in them. These details, I believe, are incredibly important in shaping who we are today, transporting us between each happy snapshot concealed within the family photo albums.
Over the past 2 years I have developed a great interest in photographic theory which I have discussed at length in essays and my dissertation. It is this interest which encourages me to consider the role of photography within family life. What I wish to explore as a part of this project is the ability to recall memories when viewing a photograph. What I am hoping is that the old photographs from my childhood shall trigger the little details which I wish to represent.
DISCOVERY shall be at the centre of this project as I consider the various aspects of my life. Not only does this word reflect my feelings about an uncertain future, it also embodies the journey I must embark on, unearthing my past to understand my present in the hope that I find whatever it is I am looking for.
