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In the development of this project my paintings have developed a darker side to them than any of my previous work.

Some of Antony Micallef’s paintings (an artist I came across while researching imagery for my last blog post) seem in keeping to this and so unlock something emotional in me as the viewer.

‘Meat Head’. – which I feel has visual elements (muted colour palette) that links to some of my paintings in this body of work .

An element of deformed flesh and transformation through painting.

‘A Little Bit of Me’ and ‘Self Portrait 3’ feel inbetween something familiar and something I have never seen before. Something half animal half human. Another inbetween state- like the flesh hanging at the butchers in between living animal and meat. They are painted in monochrome which remind me of my ‘Trapped Flesh I’ and ‘Trapped Flesh II’

From this I have also started to look at the imagery of Kathy Kollwitz, Ryan Hewett and Edvard Munch.


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A few weeks ago I responded to the images of my swollen flesh. I was particularly interested in the fact that in this changed state my face had become a trace of my emotions. My emotions had temporarily scared the planes of my face. They had left their mark.

I was looking at these photographs and looking back was not what I usually see. It was still my flesh but so different.

I saw a kind of parallel to this and the process of painting. The idea of active paint being an external expression (through the paint and its sense of its subject) of the artist own emotions and ‘self’.

I proceeded to sketch and respond to these images.

I produced on canvas this painting. I decided that I wanted areas of it to be very physically similar to my flesh. When they were in this state my eyelids felt more dense than that area of flesh usually does.

I wanted to change my oil paint to coincide with that change in weight. BEES WAX is the way I did it ! My painting tutor gave me the ‘recipe’ and so I sourced some solid bees wax to melt and mix with white spirit. When mixed with my paint it made it more paste like. It completely changed my medium and the way it flowed on the canvas – as you would expect.

I also stained my canvas with ink and charcoal, building up scaring and a story to the ‘skin’ of the canvas. This something I have started to do religiously on my canvases through out this project.

Jenny Saville has been recorded as preparing her canvases ‘…with stains or transparent washes, a kind of chaotic undercoat…’

Example see ‘Aperture’, 2003.

Saville -“I start with the painting on the floor and throw paint, it’s almost like when they’re digging and find remnants of the past…It is like you’re putting history on the painting and then bringing the form out form that.”

Brutvan C.and Cullinan N.(2011) Jenny Saville RAW Exhibition held at Norton Museum of Art, Florida and Modern Art Oxford, 23 June – 16 September 2013 [exhibition catalogue].

The way I chose to do this varies. For this canvas I lay it down and pooled ink on to it and scratched and crumbled charcoal. It is only 38 x 30cms and I can happily sit above it and dominate it with my marks. Larger canvases usually get stained while pinned on a wall and so gravity pulls my washy marks towards the ground – a completely different beginning for the language of my painting.

I’m not sure why but I chose the colour palette of green and red. I’m aware that these are contrasting hot and cold colours but other than that I feel they are subconscious choice. Me simply absorbing what I have been looking at or feeling at the time. On reflection these colours remind me of aged steak. Dark and richly red flesh but riddled with shimmers of green blue and black.


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Quotes from Skinning the Paint by Emily Braun, a key text in contextualising my project. I will reflect back on this and try and more clearly pair parts of this text with my work.

‘In the history of art, Titian was the first to have made the stroke of the brush palpably akin to the substance of flesh. Translucent yet dense, the consistency of oil paint appeared to breathe with the opaque luminosity of human skin. Titian modeled the masses and swells of the body with touches of broken colour that retained their independent vitality as gestural marks on the picture plane.’

‘Titian placed the figures uncomfortably close to the front of the picture space, creating a confrontation between flesh and viewer…’

‘Titian’s touch and Marsyas’s howl have distinct echoes in the work of British painters after World War II spanning three generations, from Francis Bacon to Jenny Saville. No other national school has been so obsessed with skinning the paint, with merging the depiction of carnality with the inherent properties of the pictorial medium.’

‘Bacon, Lucian Freud , Frank Auerbach, Leon Kossoff, Saville and Cecilly Brown – approach the canvas as a vital body of strokes that temporarily coalesce into the illusion of flesh, only to reveal the naked handling of coloured pigments across the picture plane. The analogy is extended when we consider that one skinning apparatus is none other than the knife, a tool that artists use to render scabrous and sentient the taut membrane of the canvas.’

‘Kossoff repeatedly applied the paint and scraped it off again, a skinning process that mimics the excoriation and regeneration of the epidermal layer.’

‘The eye grapple with skeins and blobs of brown, white, and red, and flounders between illegibility and uneasy recognition, between the loss and reassertion of the viewing self. In representing flesh, and with it in the human face or naked body these painters free themselves of conventional narrative and force the viewer to peruse the artist’s own deep looking and their physical responses with the brush, rag, sponge, paper and even hands. Making the paint work as flesh not like it, as Freud would have it , the canvas becomes a tactile, cutaneous subject, formed by layers of pigment subjected to peeling and surgical cuts and bearing all the organic traces of its making.

“Evidence accrues”, Auerbach admits; the eye gloms on every decision made and trauma inflicted during the images formation.’

‘…their works are filled with a piercing lyricism, the result of looking at and feeling the body from new (that is “other”) perspectives.’


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IT RAINED AND IT HAILED.

This fleshy depiction of head and shoulders emotionally drained me. Im not sure if it ‘works’ or not. I’m so deeply emerged in it, I can not begin to think what it looks like to an outsider. It brings me right back to my emotions at the time of it’s conception. Right before I painted it I sat alone in my room while hail and rain bashed against my window. I wanted to get out (of where ever it was I fall into) and it wanted to get in. Relentless and loud.

I felt a need to try and exhale all of this on to my canvases. It felt like I’ld been holding my breath for hours. Sometimes the out comes visually are good sometimes not but my process at the moment is acting like a conversation with a therapist. I think the canvas understands?

The canvas was the most bruised and battered, forgotten about canvas in my studio. Areas not primed properly and prepped with grey and red paint for a painting that never happened.

On reflection I want to go back and correct areas that are not “right” but I’m resisting to try and not loose the areas that in my opinion are pure emotionally charged paint.

I’m beginning to understand that each time I return to a painting on a different day or moment I project a different energy. In the moment my decisions will be different to the decisions and marks I would of made yesterday.

I’m not saying that I mean to never work on a painting after a certain time scale. Just that being aware is part of unravelling the conversation that exists between viewer and paint.


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Something which started me off thinking about paint the way I do is listening to Maggi Hambling talking about paint.

Last year I collaborated with Chris Newson an artist whose entheuthiasm inspired me and spured me on when we first met, right at the begining of my degree.

At the opening of our joint exhibition, Hambling spoke of painting and art and those words helped fuel my exploration into the active role of paint. Something Hambling describes as ‘living’ paint.

“Art is about truth…” -MH

This video is Maggi speaking again about paint and art at Chris’s Private view about a month ago.

Everything she says here, is so importrant to my project and what I have been trying to communicate in the last few months.

Chris’s work is a strong example of active / living paint. His paintings come from him and his emotions.

Chris Newsons Exhibition, Snape, 2014.


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