I am currently working on a large canvas with my flesh contained in my own space while also continuing exploring my emotional traces on my canvas, I arrived at this essay – ‘The Influence of Anxiety’ – Susan H. Edwards in Paint Made Flesh. Specifically, anxiety surrounding the generation of artist who lived in America at the time of the Cold War – ‘Painting the Figure in Cold War America.’
Alice Neel an artist I was not familiar with is an artist cited in this essay;’Throughout her career Alice Neel gave expression to the vulnerability of the body and the fragility of the soul.’ – S.H. Edwards.
Neel’s worked has appealed to me as there is something trapped (in reproduction at least) about her paintings that sing to me.
So far I have had trouble adjusting in the scale change from my smaller more intimate canvases to this. I have felt that I have not known where to put myself- where to begin.
The energy I exert is much greater than that which I use on smaller canvases. Also the need to concentrate has been greater. In this project I have began to zone out when painting and this is when my most successful paintings have been born – through the conscience mark making – the interaction between my ‘inner self’ and the paint. It is in these moments that part of myself has been projected and ingrained in my paint.
I believe the need to ‘think’ has spoiled that element in this painting – or at least I don’t feel it has emerged as yet.
I have also come up against a few hiccups that I have had to straighten out. Again this has made me have to stop and start and think – I don’t feel as connected with this painterly manifestation of my flesh.
