In many ways including personal life and ill health it is not solely artists, academics, subjects and materials, that have influenced and influence decisions in my work.
When i did the ‘mini retrospective’ it was clear to see that there are links.
For instance the way in which works from childhood/teens and work now, are linked by the way in which i have explored layers and confrontation.
The politics of Mental Health and the way in which it is first on the list to have cuts made by the NHS is as i discussed with Michael Landy how i do feel marginalised. And i have to say that even on the course it is the only place i can honestly say i feel my input is valued and respected. Because outside of that is a place where mental health has no sympathy and is looked at as being something to snap out of.
My Grandma had Schizophrenia and was under section and heavily sedated whenever we ever visited her. At one stage i was sectioned under the mental health act.
As i type now i am on a high and Bipolar is something very expansive, it is not solely an emotional matter, it is in fact a very physical, psychological, biological, autonomous and traumatic health condition. It takes lives. My own life has been at risk many times i have had plans in place or about to kill myself.
In reference to my work, its very clear – Admit something to myself and relating something many people can admit to. My use of mirrors and mirrored material is so important and vital to connect to the viewer.
A video i made relating to my journey through Bradford to the ‘place’ i am at now creatively, has a resonance that crystallises and reflects my love of Art and even when i had nothing left from my skip filled with objects representing myself, i still had an urge to draw something, anything, so i did some drawings which i had put up in the space.
The Blessings books i made over the last 7 years are essential to my being as an artist, as a human being. As a person who feels that being disabled creates prejudice and misunderstandings, doing the blessings each time i go to bed practically settles me and sets me up for the rest i so desperately need even though at times, the Bipolar is uncontrollable.
Those books may well be used in the works i am going to exhibit at the Degree Show
My work has influences of my past at the moment and using Mierle Laderman Ukeles and Francis Alys’ work and exhibition wise Lucy Skaer and Michael Landy’s Breakdown, (he did say i did a mini retrospective) helps to contextualise my work.
My Bipolar is on an upward strike since January, so i have been saying yes to everything!!
1.Marketing Co-ordinator of EXIT Degree Show
2.AA2A student rep
3.Degree Show invite concept group member
4.Robert Pacitti – Artists Taking The Lead interest.
And of course there are coursework commitments!
Its a good challenge helping me in life generally a kind of booster in the right direction doing the degree and i feel that this is the right time whatever life throws at me.
While in the meeting with Michael he noticed how much it all means to me to do the Degree Show – its not long now!
But it has taken me a long time to manage to be at this stage, and be actively involved in making work and being reflective about my work and life.
Following the visits by Fred Mann and Michael Landy to uni it was cathartic to have a number of items of works in the White Space to contemplate work and develop ideas and explore certain challenges.
Being a carer and being lill makes it all very difficult and some aspects of my plan of work in the space was not done but i will work on them now.
Michael’s work in Breakdown echoed in my own literal breakdown and destruction of my own work. It was good to talk to him, relating it to my work now and future and a conclusion to the past. I also found Critical Studies with another student helpful and an insight. A prompt to do the ‘mini retrospective’ in the white space.
