a slightly bust time.
this week has been slightly busy, mid term assesment of research progress and tutorial for dissertation progress.
one is in happier state than the other. somehow i've got the unhappier one with time spread before it, so i have two weeks to catch up, in my own mind that is.
staying happy and relaxed is prooving useful. in previous years the unhappiness got in the way of progression. obviously i would want everything to progress at the same rate. reality is not like that. it's more of a see saw forward progression, actually see sawing with a walking model applies. if someone says to me, "oh yeah, it;'s like that for everyone", i still struggle with how that helps me. i still have to waddle painfully forward at times. how does knowing about some one else's pain help me ?
attending an artist talk outside the institution this evening. i wonder what the audience will be like. the work under discussion of of a questionable quality.
oh it's so busy. must dash 4 tea.
what's it like at the moment ?
it's a difficult question to answer.
listening to a scientist talking about testing light sources for office workers, he spoke of not discussing expectation.
i experience expectation anxiety with regard to a dissertation tutorial tomorrow. intellect and emotion clashing as to what tomorrow is about. the honesty comes into the equation when considering what to say about progress so far. expectation coming into it with regard to my intellectual fantasy about where i would like to be compared to the actual situation.
after relaxing about the actual, the situation becomes more dealable with and as such, possibly more achieveable as progress is being made from an actual position not a projected fantasy.
it's quite exciting really.
when it all gets too much.
when it all gets too much, what does one do ? does one have a particular dvd to watch, a cd, a favourite place in the park to watch the world go by.
when it all gets too much, does one turn to the person being a bit of a pratt and say "you're being a bit of a pratt, get your stuff sorted coz you're not making this any easier for me and i don't know why i should be so accomadating"
when it all gets too much, does one admit to being tired as actually yesterday was an assesment and there had been a weeks worth of planning and work to present the research so far completed and actually that amount of focus and editting of stuff is actually quite knackering.
and as such the presentation was enjoyable and constructive and the effort put in is worth it as there is much more to talk about and questions raised which allow for answers and along the way there is a convincing that this stuff that is made doesn't just materialise from an imagination, but is in response to something viewed/heard or acquired.
did you see imagine last night? could you tell those that spoke honestly about what they did, and those that had to make something up as what they did was just to have fun with bits of kit, nothing wrong with that of course, i simply ask for integrity and honesty, not much to ask for, or is it ?
awareness of things.
is education an improver of such a notion. does awareness simply come with age so education has less impact the older than an individual becomes. or is it simply to do with going through the motions of doing stuff and moving to the next. i remember politics being very boring when i was younger, coz i had stuff i was into. i'm still into stuff, maybe i just have more time on my hands to take in what nonsense the political world has to offer.
it has been suggested that the art world doesn't exist. i know that a current dictionary no longer has an entry for the word art.
i've been out filming today for my studio practice. i've deliberately taken a frame grab and used todays date to title it, as todays date is one of those dates, like any other date, that comes with a day. some days are more of a day than others. my current studio practice is considering energy, fossil fuel to be more definitive. i've chosen timebased media to explore it. i've recently been exposed to warhol and mcqueen, both having an influence on notions, thoughts, attempts. quigley and creed feed into the thoughts also coz they are just so wonderful to be around the work of.
i'm currently aware of a latent 4 o'clock, a thirst and a necessary walk into the library:-learning centre. titles differ, the basics stay the same.
