beginning of freshers week.
as journeys go, I could well have done with some public trasnport two years ago. Two years on, there is something tenable about how far I've come yet moved very little.
Am I excitable ? yes.
am i a fan of universal font ? yes.
the hubbub of new conversations and confused navigation is best viewed from the experiential position, well it is so that the experience was had. it is important to have it, some things are necessary to remain the way they always have been. some others though are best questioned, challenged and alternative arrangements made.
ilearnt yesterday that one of the course lecturers has left for a personal betterment, that's good, we all need to do that. the departure will have little impact on myself, the course has been evolving for the whole time i've been there. observing will of course give way to work soon. work is what it's about. i am doing research and abstraction, i don't always want to share it, that showing one's hand is still a game i'm learning to play.
i'll buy new note books to write in, new pens and pencils, renew my libary books and look forward to enrollment. for here, this week the state of education will be re – entered, re – engaged, it's exciting, the path spread in front of me and i still have to lay it, tap it and place a juddery foot upon.
welcome back.
quiche and aftenoon cup of tea.
oh the wonders of food, I still forget that if I don't eat I feel awful and the whole thing starts to close in on me. As it's Friday, not a lot in the house, my hunter gatherer thing is so easy these days thanks to the internal combustion engine and some bloke's legacy to do with mass food shopping. Still there's always room for new adventures. Take this sfternoon for example, there I am in the queue, miles away and the lady in front of me starts a discussion with the check it out lady about plastic carrier bags. Well exactually the lack of carrier bags as of the first of october. There's quite a panic and worry about the news, the lady uses the bags for all sorts of things. As I have nothing better to do at the time, I obviously join in. The lady is in good humour and the conversation continues to my turn at retail therapy. Obviously I have the check it out lady to myself so steer the conversation around to a philosphical bent, feeding back to her that I see change as a three part process and tradtionally 'we' jump in at stage 2 and then wonder why 'change' is so slow to be accepted. I went on, if the reasons why we were doing something different were explained, ie stage 1 of change, unlocking that that we need to change were explained and understood and accepted, then stage 2, the actual change would be less painful, more sustainable and thus making the third part of the process, locking back down the change reaaly easy and acceptable. Obviously at this point I think of the third year photo student I heard talking(i was in my first year), the photo student saying "you obviously only put in your third best image for assessment". The notion of if you think you have something really good, you hold it to yourself, so no one else can steal it. Does get to the point where doing that, you portray a third class version of yourself to the world. I'm attempting to be braver these days. I'll let you know how it goes.
cups of tea and jaffa cakes.
had a good day yesterday, did some editing, visit to the library, ordered some books on line. Today, slower, then it always was going to be, I used to get really worried about these contrasting times, now I see it as all part of the overall practice. I realise I can't do everythign in a day, and in fact what is the benefit of doing that. I know there are people whose life is spent working to everyday is that full on.
There is benefit is taking each day, slowly working towards something that is just out of reach, and by it's very out of reach nature, it remains out of reach. Like that big branch of your favourite tree.
Still a week and a bit till enrollment. Still that limbo of summer/back in study. Still in that enjoyment/oh no i have to perform for the module outcome.
My work has a duality to it at the moment. One path the dissertation research, the other the sea. Oh no, that was a summer project crashing in. The other being the development of my own visual language. A theorectical path and a practical path. Two paths, I hope the slabs are all even and without floor or unevenness. Oh hang on, uneven ness ness makes for a more interesting journey as there is more interaction to be done to get to the eventual end.
more jaffa cakes, i am way too low blood sugar.
blog blog, when to blog
for those about to rock we salute you. AC/DC have a line for it, an advertising exec will have a line too, just when to tell someone about something you've just done, when it's so fresh there's a feeling of something that's hard to describe but you know it's there and you look for a release. Is that the point to rush to your blog and tell the world, get it out there, splurt, shout, whatever one needs to do. I've done some editting of some footage shot back in the summer. I'm excited by it, is that what it's about, that excitement, that moment of rush, a feeling above the background level of feeling.
Is that the essence of studying a creative process, when you get excited, that's when you'll want to rush into a crit and enthouse about what you've been doing, even though you known that the staff aren't into what you're into, and let's face it, that's the point at which studying a creative process becomes hard work and very demoralising. I wonder, do staff on creative courses leave their personal preferences at the door each morning and have the larger picture of the benefit to the student in mind.
For now, I know that I've begun working towards that presentation as soon as we start back, that recap of the last bit of the second year, that recap of the summer, the recap of those lazy days of idealogical thinking and feeling anything is possible.
When to blog ? I'd say whenever it feels like something you want to do.
settling into some experimentation.
it's so unnerving still for me. I like looking at the world for what it is, celebrating on the inside the little moments of other people's lives. Doing the documenteur stuff fuels that obsession.
In Fine Art, that obsession seems to have little time. There is another thread of thought, of obsession. Leaving alone the disappointment of how FineArt seemingly encourages the dilution of what the core obsession is, I've been playing again with some stuff what I shot over the weekend, it's very early on in the process, and I do have to say that there is time to spend on developing a thread of thought, while on the degree. It seems to be fundamental, that the time spent thinking and trying is actually more important than what comes out of it at the end(well more to the point-the end thing exists because of the journey to the end) I can see now that's a misunderstanding I had during the second year. I put that down to experience because of age and having to learn in my own way-due to the disability. I'm feeling left out on the picture front, so will add a work in progress shot from my experimentation.
