University of Hertfordshire

The degree show is now over. We have to go in tomorrow to remove everything, and I've been planning what I need to do to get everything out smoothly. Not quite sure how I'll get it all in the car, but I'll manage somehow!

I found out my grade for this semester on Friday, and though I don't want to go into specifics, I am happy with what I got – big relief! I suppose it's hard to judge sometimes, even though in theory you know what you're being assessed on, you're basically setting up for an assessment at the same time as a public exhibition, and that can be hard to balance in some ways.

I definitely want to do an MA in the not too distant future – I looked into a few, and even started filling in applications, around the Christmas break, but I wouldn't have been able to make good enough applications without jepordising the work I was doing at the time, as a lot of effort was required for the application process. I'm glad I waited, because I feel that now I'm in a much better position to be writing proposals, etc – I have a few ideas of future projects I'd like to do etc, so I'm feeling quite positive about that. The next challenge will be to get a part time job which I can balance with keeping my practice going and with all the accompanying administration.

I borrowed my friend's digital SLR camera to photograph my work while it was still up, which should help in terms of documentation for the future.

Now I just need to clear some more space in the car…

The balloon and cactus piece – entitled This Is What Happens – is evolving. The latest change, which took place this evening, was influenced by a nine-year-old girl. The child in question, who is the neighbour of Kimi (my friend and fellow Fine Art 3^rd Year), asked whether I was blowing up the balloons until one popped. I have, in fact, been timing each balloon-inflating session to last five minutes, taking place at semi-regular intervals throughout the day. However, I was very taken with the idea of allowing the popping to dictate how long I added balloons for, so from that point on I made that my system, instead of the egg timer. I like the unpredictability this adds – I don’t know, when I start each session, whether I will be adding 1 balloon or 100. During the course of the evening, I also began allowing the popping of the balloons to decide when I start each session: I inflate and add balloons until the first ‘pop’, then sit and wait until the next pop, which is my cue to begin the next session. I will try doing either one or two hour stints at this (basically, try one hour and if that’s not too much, continue to two hours). It’s become a lot more interesting already, just in one evening, as the volume of balloons has increased more rapidly, so the movement has become a lot more dramatic. It has heightened the atmosphere in the space, especially in terms of the rubbery sounds caused by the balloons moving against each other.

Today was the first time the exhibition had been open since Saturday, so I was able to get a couple of day’s rest over the weekend – the performative aspect of my work meaning that I’ve needed to be there as much as possible. Despite the two days I’d had off, I was still exhausted today, so I was relieved to find out, after returning my back-up work to my space this morning for the external examiners, that we were not meant to be in the studios from then until 4pm, so I was able to go home and catch up on some much needed sleep. We have to be in tomorrow morning to meet the external examiners, and then the exhibition continues until the end of Friday. When I’m not inflating balloons or waiting for them to pop, I’m gradually working my way around the exhibition, having a proper look at everyone else’s work.

Things have been fairly eventful since my last post, and I have a feeling they will continue to be so. I'm feeling pretty positive about the show, though. Last night was the private view, which went well although I have never enjoyed crowds and found it rather overwhelming. After a bit of a rocky start (involving a slight wardrobe crisis) I was able to spend some time with the friends I'd invited, and have a wander round. I found that more comfortable than staying in my space trying to explain my work to people! One of the highlights of the evening was a brilliant piece of live art by Kate Wiggs, another student, who had secretly employed actors to play a pretentious couple who went round making ridiculous comments about the work (some of which were really hilarious) and then to stage a drunken row in the main gallery. Sadly I missed that part (though their response to my work was one of the first I encountered, and was a little unsure what to make of them!) but everyone's been talking about it today.

I had intended to be in first thing this morning, but my alarm didn't go off (or else I was so tired I slept through it!) so it was after 11 before I got there. I chatted to a few people, did the performance part of my balloon/cactus work a few times, but the last time when I went in to do it, the people who had been in the room seemed to be leaving in a bit of a hurry, and I discovered that two of the cacti had been knocked over and there was soil everywhere. This was not an easy thing to clear up, and it's forced me to rethink the relaxed attitude to viewer-control I'd been taking so far; although it's not part of my intention for the viewer to go up to the balloons and cacti and to physically interact with them, I had decided not to prevent them from doing so. However, I hadn't expected the cactus pots to get spilled, which I feel is a big step too far, and means that I am now in the process of changing the pathway i put in so that it allows more viewers in at the door-end of the room, but hopefully discourages them from going any further. Tomorrow, I will be sorting out a way of roping the rest of the room off. I didn't want to have to be strict, but sadly it seems I have no choice.

I can't quite believe I managed to finish setting up. I'm still 'coming down' I think, and certainly when I left on Friday, I was still full of left-over adrenaline. Coupled with a rising level of exhaustion, this gave me the feeling that I might end up crying once I got home, which thankfully didn't happen.

In my last-but-one post, we were in the process of clearing the studios in preparation for the application of white emulstion and generally trying to turn working studios into a space in which an exhibition could be held…

I'd been allocated two spaces in the upstairs studio area – a longish, narrow space for my cactus and balloon installation, and a corner further down the corridor for my video work and objects.

The practice in UH fine art is to pair up each 3rd year with a 1st year who will assist them in setting up their degree show. I think this is a great idea – I really enjoyed my experience of it in 1st year, and it gave me a much better idea of what would be involved when my turn came around. Now that I'm in 3rd year, I was lucky enough to have been paired with a 1st year, Susie, who I was already friends with before she started at UH – one of our tutors had learned that we were friends, and had kindly put us together. I honestly don't know how I'd have managed without her calming influence and practical support. When I was feeling overwhelmed with all the things that needed doing, she had a way of keeping me on track and helping me to actually get things done, and I'm extremely grateful to her for this.

While the space for the cactus/balloon work was fairly straightforward in terms of requirements, I'd decided that the video/objects corner would be decorated like a 'slice' of living room – which meant wallpaper and carpet over an area of 150cm sq – a decision for which I kicked myself several times over the week because of how much hassle it was to set up, but which ultimately I think was the right thing for the work… just hope the assessing tutors see it that way too!

It's really happening now – I've not had time to write about what I'm doing, as I'm spending all my time doing it. Only 1 more day to go until the deadline for assessment… I'm torn between wanting it to be over and thinking there can't be enough time to get it just right!

But I think I'm nearly there now. I'm extremely tired, so hopefully I'll have everything done that I need to do before bed, so I can have a few hours sleep before the final day…