University of Incidental Knowledge

NVQ Pedantics

1 year part time

(Let me begin by saying this; diplomas are fine, a framed NVQ certificate looks just as good on the wall as any degree certificate so don’t be put off by what your more intelligent friends may say.)

Description: What’s wrong with people these days? They have opinions coming out of their arses and what should be coming out of their arses is, instead, coming out of their mouths. Catalogue it, challenge it, draw a picture of it. Clear? NO? Ok try this, for a variety of reasons people say stupid things, right? Listen out for them; they are your raw material, a sort of INCIDENTAL LACK OF KNOWLEDGE if you will. Find it, learn from it, share it, work with it.

EXAMPLE [from a pub quiz]
Q. What sea can be found to the North of Turkey?
A. I know this, it’s Chechnya…. I mean FFS!

Good places to begin your research include:

* Pub quiz’s (obviously) especially when then question masters can’t read out the questions properly (dyslexia is no excuse).

* Prime Minister’s Question (the PM is a ‘given’, it is the attention seeking nob-heads who ask the questions I’m thinking of).

* The Jeremy Vine show. If you don’t listen to Radio 2 try the Daily Mail instead.

* Old People.

* Young People.

That should help get you started so bugger off and do some work.

Entry Requirements: A cheerful personality. Email course tutor for further details.

Application Process: We do not choose Pedantry, it chooses us, (but complete the enrollment form just to be sure).

Assessment Process: A team based discussion… Peer evaluated nitpicking! (1)

Progression: Many who complete this course may want to follow an academic path at under-graduate or post-graduate level. This will be unnecessary as, upon satisfactory completion of the course, it may be possible to immediately convert your Diploma into a First Class honours or Masters degree, or even a Doctorate (cash and correction fluid are wonderful things, see course leader for further details).

Should you instead wish to use your new qualification to pursue a career we strongly recommend Politics or working in a call centre.

Fees: None… but if you want to buy me a pint…

(1) No, ‘nitpicking’ should not be hyphenated! (2)
(2) Yes, the use of an exclamation mark is unnecessary.

MPhil Mistakes

1 year part time

Description: MPhil Mistakes is a course geared towards the incidental knowledge gained through the process of erring, and maximising blunders within creative practice.

Entry Requirements: Between zero and three legs.

Application Process: Drop us a line. (Do the form)

Assessment Process: Email or postal submission of works, constant liaison with course leaders and endless discussion. Note that if this is not completed it will be considered a mistake, and ultimately the highest echelon of course understanding.

Course Leader: Sparrow+Castice

Fee: None

BA (Hons) Foreign Language

1 year part time

Description: 1 year self-directed, part-time course available via distance-learning. A varied programme of study which develops foreign language incidental knowledge at the highest level. Incidental Foreign Language is acquired not necessarily abroad but perhaps on imported consumer items such as rum bottles, electronic goods user guides and subtitled films. Foreign visitors and tourists may also provide excellent incidental foreign language. Incidental Foreign Language can be in any language each student does not know fluently. Students are required to provide a form of translation to evidence knowledge.

Entry Requirements: Students must have a valid email account.

Application Process: Completion of the enrollment form

Assessment Process: Students are required to evidence incidentally learnt foreign language in a digital format at least 3 times each term, with a translation, to be published on the University website. Evidence may be provided in the form of text, image, audio or film or any other appropriate format.

Course Leader: Fundada

Fee: None

BA (Hons) Cut ‘n’ Paste

1 year part time

Description: I want you to work. Only through the application of thought and the process of creation can you absorb the essential information on the sly, incidentally and accidentally, that will be a crucial part of your education. There is a very simple course structure. Make collages whilst either listening to the radio or to the television. There is an opportunity for ‘en plein air’ collage making for those fully committed to the process; the incidental knowledge acquired via this route however can be much slower and a little parochial. The subject matter for the collages is self directed. I would recommend a diverse use of materials and do not be afraid to include the use of pencil and/or paint in your work; be creative! Innovate! And above all else, pick up the knowledge; you will need this.

Entry Requirements: Ability to multi-task.

Application Process: Completion of the enrollment form

Assessment Process: You are required to send all collages and supporting evidence to the course leader: Bob Milner (Course Leader), Studio A6, Westgate Studio, 55 Westgate, WAKEFIELD, WF1 1BW, UK. It may be exhibited. It may be included in a publication. This is not a beauty contest; it is about the gathering of new incidental knowledge. Remember that and you’ll go far.

Course Leader: Bob Milner

Fee: None

BA (Hons) Comedy

1 year part time

Description: 1 year self-directed, part-time course available via distance-learning. A varied programme of study which develops incidental knowledge at the highest level.

Unlike other courses, the title doesn’t refer to the subject to be studied, but the means of acquiring incidental knowledge. All information must be collected from comedy in any format, including live stand up, panel shows, sitcoms, CD recordings, etc. Knowledge submitted can be on any subject.

Students can choose to collate knowledge on particular themes or produce extended written works for extra credits.

Entry Requirements: Students must have a valid email account.

Application Process: Completion of the enrollment form.

Assessment Process: Students are required to evidence Incidental Knowledge in a digital format at least 3 times each term, with the source cited, to be published on the University website. Evidence may be provided in the form of text, drawing, photographs or any other appropriate format.

Course Leader: Louise Atkinson

Fee: None