NVQ Pedantics
1 year part time
(Let me begin by saying this; diplomas are fine, a framed NVQ certificate looks just as good on the wall as any degree certificate so don’t be put off by what your more intelligent friends may say.)
Description: What’s wrong with people these days? They have opinions coming out of their arses and what should be coming out of their arses is, instead, coming out of their mouths. Catalogue it, challenge it, draw a picture of it. Clear? NO? Ok try this, for a variety of reasons people say stupid things, right? Listen out for them; they are your raw material, a sort of INCIDENTAL LACK OF KNOWLEDGE if you will. Find it, learn from it, share it, work with it.
EXAMPLE [from a pub quiz]
Q. What sea can be found to the North of Turkey?
A. I know this, it’s Chechnya…. I mean FFS!
Good places to begin your research include:
* Pub quiz’s (obviously) especially when then question masters can’t read out the questions properly (dyslexia is no excuse).
* Prime Minister’s Question (the PM is a ‘given’, it is the attention seeking nob-heads who ask the questions I’m thinking of).
* The Jeremy Vine show. If you don’t listen to Radio 2 try the Daily Mail instead.
* Old People.
* Young People.
That should help get you started so bugger off and do some work.
Entry Requirements: A cheerful personality. Email course tutor for further details.
Application Process: We do not choose Pedantry, it chooses us, (but complete the enrollment form just to be sure).
Assessment Process: A team based discussion… Peer evaluated nitpicking! (1)
Progression: Many who complete this course may want to follow an academic path at under-graduate or post-graduate level. This will be unnecessary as, upon satisfactory completion of the course, it may be possible to immediately convert your Diploma into a First Class honours or Masters degree, or even a Doctorate (cash and correction fluid are wonderful things, see course leader for further details).
Should you instead wish to use your new qualification to pursue a career we strongly recommend Politics or working in a call centre.
Fees: None… but if you want to buy me a pint…
(1) No, ‘nitpicking’ should not be hyphenated! (2)
(2) Yes, the use of an exclamation mark is unnecessary.
