What a DREADFUL day today has been. The space/work for the degree show has to be completed by 5pm on Friday coming and today has been utterly useless. Space inaccessible, work all in the space waiting to be placed/hung/completed in situ – ergo, I have been a very big bear with an exceptional headache all day as my stress levels had no practical outlet. I feel quite despondent and fatalistic today. Not a positive or pleasant state of mind. According to facebook, I am not alone in this useless Sunday crisis feeling….. Somehow, sharing the 'we're all doomed' sensation doesn't help. What does help is that I have sorted out a minor life/degree show clash that was threatening tomorrow so at least I will be back at the coalface by 915am. With a bit of luck, I can hijack the technicians first thing and get this screen problem ironed out. It would be really nice to have stress dreams related to a different aspect of my work now. I'm beyond the stressed part about the screen dreams, even in the middle of the night that particular problem is getting boring. Another positive is that I potentially have a willing minion for Wednesday – a friend's girlfriend has offered to come along and help with whatever I still have to get done by then which is absolutely wonderful. I may not need her assistance but the offer is deeply appreciated and has helped heal my negative thoughts about the nature of art students approaching a degree show date becoming Hobbesian….. The cries of 'who's taken my gum strip?', 'where's the paint gone from my space?' and other such agonised questions became far too familiar by the end of the week. It made me appreciate my hard won lock on my studio door on a whole new level! Maybe this is the slump I have to go through before the final push? Anyone else out there consumed by doubt and dread? It's very odd – exhibiting work and having people criticise it has not affected me as much as the knowledge that three years of my life rests upon the contents of this one room in this one particular 'show'. Hey ho. On we go…..
Please excuse the quality of my images today – they are mobile phone specials! However, it is to give an idea of the sheer amount of grey I have covered in the past few days. The pictures were taken during the first and second coats so it does look better now, I promise. It has taken four coats and a lot of Elvis Costello, but the walls are now passably white rather than light grey. Such a relief! I have the technicalities of my projection screen worked out now so the task of building the thing looms but in all I'm feeling pretty positive and looking forward to my degree show experience. Sadly, it's taking its toll on relationships around the building as tensions run high and boiling points are reached (over small things like gum strip disappearances etc) but I don't believe for one second we are the first year or indeed the only institution to experience such things. It WILL be alright on the night I'm sure….. Anyway, keeping this brief today as I have a screen to build and a floor (a HUGE floor) to paint so not a lot of time for online procrastination. I hope all is going well for everyone else at this stage and that those who are finished are enjoying contemplation of their next step. Again, I apologise for the quality – or lack thereof – in the attached images. Must try harder (ie – remember to bring decent camera)….
After a twelve hour day of painting white emulsion onto dark grey walls (a legacy from a graduate last year who didn't return to paint them over), and a five hour day of the same yesterday, I am shattered! I am also fearful that my nasal passages have been irrevocably damaged from the fumes. I seem to be tasting and smelling paint constantly. However, the cavernous space is starting to look like a degree show area and tomorrow I plan to get started on the installation process. It's an anxious and exciting time – there are a few of us around in the sculpture area and it's a veritable hive of activity. Watching the work coming together and supporting each other during confidence or technical wobbles makes it feel like a true collaborative effort. A group of us went to the Newcastle University show last Friday and it made us feel a little down – it is a little disheartening to visit an institution which utilises a stunning facility like the Hatton Gallery for part of its degree show. That being said, it does make the Newcastle show seem somewhat unbalanced between the students who exhibit in that space and in other locations around the university buildings, so it is not necessarily the professional boon it at first seems. It was good to be able to see what our peers in the region have been working on. There were several of us living in fear of seeing something too close to our own plans on show. Luckily, there were no close shaves. There was some interesting work on display though and we spent a good amount of time viewing and discussing it. We seem to be in a far more positive collective frame of mind this week. I hope to feel this positive this time next week…..
The past week has flown by – clearing studios, trying to ensure that things required for show setup will be in place (electric sockets functional, scaffolding booked etc etc) and of course veiled threats to the second years who were meant to have vacated the studio spaces by last Friday. Due to the rather large space I have been allocated (which held six second year students in all), the space has been left in a fairly mixed state. Hence, most of today has involved clearing up leftover pieces of work, detritus and mess. The technicians have not reached that studio to reconfigure the walls yet so painting them is out of the question as yet. The sheer scale of the preparatory task is somewhat daunting and I am scouring the corners of my brain for a list of people who may be available, willing, able and ultimately obliging enough to help me at a point where I may be devoid of simple things like reason, humour and rational thought. I'm off to buy my paint and associated DIY gubbins this weekend so will return next week heavily laden and hoping hard that the walls have been removed/built as required so I can forge ahead…. After a fairly sleepless weekend last week, I submitted my Professional Practice portfolio this Tuesday and am relieved to have it beyond my interfering reach now. The urge to rewrite, to change and to modify that pesky critical evaluation verged upon a manic desperation. Perhaps my degree show concerns were being transferred to thewriting required for the portfolio? No matter, tis now gone and in the hands of the tutors marking it. To be honest, despite the stress of the time constraints placed upon preparing the show, I am cautiously excited and looking forward to exhibiting my work. Newcastle University Fine Art Degree Show opens on Friday night and I am looking forward to seeing what my peers there produce – not to mention hoping that nothing there seems too like my own plans!
OK – there is a mounting feeling of panic now. I'm not sleeping properly, my head is full of degree show, degree show,degree show – and doubt. That's never a good bedfellow.Anyway – the biggest worry is the space. Not the physical space any more, that at least has been resolved. I am aware of the where! However, the 'what state' question is as yet unanswered. One of the current second year occupants may not be reliable in terms of scraping a load of plaster off the floor – a considerable load that said student has put on the floor in the first instance. I haven't said much about my degree show installation as yet but there is potentially a lot of magnetic tape involved. My guess is that magnetic tape would love a whack of plaster dust and it would try its best to keep it….. This would ruin the finish on the tape (which is hugely important) and I am concerned that the student in question has become the Scarlet Pimpernel and cannot be contacted to get things in order asap…..DEEP BREATH!!On the plus side, my lead melting and pouring went extremely well. Having spoken to my peers, I am also well aware that panic is not my speciality. We are all practising hard to perfect it it seems…..
