University of Sunderland

What a DREADFUL day today has been. The space/work for the degree show has to be completed by 5pm on Friday coming and today has been utterly useless. Space inaccessible, work all in the space waiting to be placed/hung/completed in situ – ergo, I have been a very big bear with an exceptional headache all day as my stress levels had no practical outlet. I feel quite despondent and fatalistic today. Not a positive or pleasant state of mind. According to facebook, I am not alone in this useless Sunday crisis feeling….. Somehow, sharing the 'we're all doomed' sensation doesn't help. What does help is that I have sorted out a minor life/degree show clash that was threatening tomorrow so at least I will be back at the coalface by 915am. With a bit of luck, I can hijack the technicians first thing and get this screen problem ironed out. It would be really nice to have stress dreams related to a different aspect of my work now. I'm beyond the stressed part about the screen dreams, even in the middle of the night that particular problem is getting boring. Another positive is that I potentially have a willing minion for Wednesday – a friend's girlfriend has offered to come along and help with whatever I still have to get done by then which is absolutely wonderful. I may not need her assistance but the offer is deeply appreciated and has helped heal my negative thoughts about the nature of art students approaching a degree show date becoming Hobbesian….. The cries of 'who's taken my gum strip?', 'where's the paint gone from my space?' and other such agonised questions became far too familiar by the end of the week. It made me appreciate my hard won lock on my studio door on a whole new level! Maybe this is the slump I have to go through before the final push? Anyone else out there consumed by doubt and dread? It's very odd – exhibiting work and having people criticise it has not affected me as much as the knowledge that three years of my life rests upon the contents of this one room in this one particular 'show'. Hey ho. On we go…..