University of Sunderland

Much soul searching today. I have been considering whether to ‘ditch’ the rook and my tutorials helped me to think, ‘why?’. It may be because I feel embarrassed by it and worry that it might not be acceptable, maybe it is all just too traditional and illustrative????? I have been cross with myself and exasperated that I seem so reluctant to ‘move on’, but why do I think that I need to move on?

I had a couple of brilliant tutorials today that really helped me to realise that the confusion I am feeling is because I am human; wiith all of the layers and complexities, which, inevitably, come through in making my work.It is not always possible to come up with a definitive answer to a dilemma I set myself.

I understand that my tutors do not have all the answers but I think I was expecting to be able to find all the answers immediately within myself.

I now think that I will never have a final answer but along the way I will find insights. This will only happen if I keep on working and interrogating the work and my experiences as I go.

I tempted the crows and rooks down with cheese, bread and fat and was able to get some decent footage of them strutting around. Also took some photos of them, and me, in the park.

Wondered about performing ironing in the park. I know there wouldn’t be a power supply so the creases wouldn’t come out of the shirts, but people would wonder and think about what I was doing and would probably ask. I don’t think people here would be afraid to ask but it might be interesting to find out.

The power supply and props are the difficult thing about setting up a performance. I like to be fairly independent, so that usually restricts what I can set up.

On another matter, The Sunderland Book Project: I plan to create some work for this. I have an idea for some performance associated with it.

Repetition, incongruities of scale, figuration and autobiography, are, I think, recurring elements of my work.

I have some interesting Rook video that I want to match with ‘Rook like’ performance.

Unfortunately the likeness of behaviours has a limited life span.

Our University Canteen Exhibition last week involved me in a performance of ‘ironing white shirts’ and watching a video of other daily activities whilst dressed in clothing portraying an exageration of stereotypical femininity.

Where will it all end????????

Canteen Ironing

Bobby Baker presentation inspired. I was so excited about the performance and it mostly went according to plan. I had timed my slideshow so that I knew, when it got to the last slide, I had about 45 secs to finish off.

I cannot believe how much time I spend thinking about what I am doing. After tutorials I often find it hard to sleep or I wake up thinking about what I need to do next.

I have been struggling with two parts of my ideas which I felt needed to be joined up better. One of these parts is about everyday repetitive ritualised behaviours, tasks and activities. The other is about my relationship with this Rook figure, which is larger than me.

It is a bit like a nightmare aparition but isn’t because it is protective and symbiotic.