Sleeping
Sleep is important. To everyone, not just stress-head undergrads. On Wednesday I woke up in a panic about something and I’ve no idea what. It’s left me scared and tired with a vague sense of dread.
What did I remember in the early hours of wedneday? Have a I forgotten to send some vital piece of info to someone? Have I realised my artist statement for the degree show book is way too thin? Did getting the balance for the New Designers fund knock me sick?
Well yes. Yes. And yes. I’ve not sent the press pack off yet, but our photos haven’t been editted, so I can’t. My artist statement is two sentences long, but it’s neither vague nor b*llsh$tty so it’s meant to be that long. And having so little money to stretch between so many people is no good, no good at all.
Also, I realised I’m not wholly happy with my work. They need to move around more, mean more, and be better. So I’m going to keep making them, but something’s going to change. I think it might be the installation… I’m thinking of taking them for some walks and photographing or sketching them.
Then there’s the fact that next year is still a mysterious vortex of confusion. The plan was that I’d have a job now, not a great job, just a job. So mum could hand her notice in and Daniel and I would start paying the mortage while she moves to Cumbria. I have no job. I’m applying and no one’s anwering.
Stress and not sleeping go hand in hand. I’ve been trying to rest to make things better but I think instead I need to throw myself into my work whole heartedly and try to resolve the things I’m getting all het up about.
Such a grown up resolution! Who knew I could be so mature?
