University of Wolverhampton

As I said to my friend, I hope that when we graduate we get a BA in Organising Meetings and Display Stands and Photographers and Basically Everything. As well as the degree I'm meant to be working on.

My work is progressing fairly well. The attitude I have is that I am near the end now and everything I have made can either go well, or not, and that's it. I'm doing all I can to make sure our work is advertised and publicised but sometimes it seems there's maybe two, three people doing all the work, with everyone else happy to just potter (har har) along.

Had a lot of trouble in the department recently with individuals not pulling their weight and general stress. Looking through the other blogs on here doesn't help. We don't have a catalogue, or a pack thing or anything. None of our work has appeared, or is likely to appear in any magazines. It's clearly a very different audience but Ceramic Review and Craftsman don't have student blog facilities so this is my only outlet. Maybe our course isn't so organised and on the ball as I thought it might be.

Maybe I'm not so determined as I thought. There are a few blogs on here I love reading because they are truthful and funny and real, and some of them are getting far. Maybe I'm not committed enough. I entered the New Art Theory competition as well as some others on here, but I didn't really think much of it, just sent a bit off and that was that. Was that bad or not? I want to just try everything and go for all the opportunities, because I might as well. But what if I'm not really getting anywhere because I'm not a critic, or an artist, or a proper craftsman, or whatever?

Argh soul-rending doubt combined with late night! I spent 8am – 8pm yesterday sorting out our photographer for everyone. Today I spent the morning sorting out the photos to send to a PR company for one of the shows, the afternoon in two meetings about exhibitions and the course. Eventually about 5 I got to actually do some ceramics. And then spent 6-8 on portfolio. Came home and cooked dinner.

Maybe all this fluster and worry is created by the fact I seriously need a lie in. Hand in next Friday (but not really because we can still do 2D work – what?) so…good? I think.

Well my absence surely just shows how hard-working I am, how dedicated etc etc yawn.

In recent news! I went for an interview at Leeds to do an Ma in History of Art and was offered a conditional place. So that's pretty exciting. Although now I am worrying about if I don't get the requirements for the conditional offer, but before I was fine.

I'm also applying for various residencies in schools so I can teach the future, man, about art and stuff, dude. And, clearly, I'm freaking out a bit about the impending degree show et al.

When everyone in the department says "Oh your year's degree show is going to be fabulous" you start worrying: what if it's not? What if none of it works? What if the damned RECESSION (yes, I said it) has meant no-one can afford anything or we can't afford to make anything (last week I spent £150 on clay and colour. That's 10 weeks' food shopping).

On the other hand, I could bitch about how it's all a terrible struggle, bleat on about how no-one understands artists or craftsmen and how it's all so bloody Nietschze. But really, we're doing something we love for three years, and then, if the passion is there, you're doing it for the rest of your life. Yes, it's pressured, yes it's frustrating, yes you are essentially playing to the crowd, but so what? What are your other choices? What is there in life but pleasure in work? Love may come and go, friends may be true or torture and family (as Easter never fails to point out) are absolutely atrocious.

But work…aah, work. The ever-fixed mark on which you can rely. If you love, and I mean love, your work, then you surely have the greatest empowerment of all.

I've been reading a lot lately about craft and work and the ethics of aforementioned. I haven't got to a point where I think I can talk about it wisely enough (probably won't in all my life). But when I get to a point where I think I can talk about it brusquely and aggressively, I will definitely do it here.

PS Image is sideways. Why?