With the latest twist in my husbands health, I’m trying hard to take stock of the situation and get on with some art. To be honest, I’ve known there was a problem for ages and the knowledge has become overwhelmingly sad and rather blocked out my ability to prioritise art and my personal ambitions and needs. All my energy has been directed towards coping with his care and in shifting the general organisation of our lives. This has been, I see at last, to the detriment of artistic endeavour. I’ve probably gone overboard with caring. Possibly making it less likely that he will care for himself. Smothering him fact and even eroding his independence, overloading myself in the process.
I have to learn that things cannot be as perfect as they once were and that good enough is good enough; to allow myself to save some energy and time, purely for my own hopes and dreams.
Somehow I managed to switch off long enough to thaw out my frozen oil paints and after reminding myself on how to use them, I reworked this painting.
I posted it on WhatsApp and was rewarded with a fair amount of reassuring likes. At least enough to give me confidence to continue. Then after a delightful visit from a fellow-artist who is completely competent with technology, I decided to keep the website which she helped me construct and to add a blog to the site. Again with her kind help. Had previously thought about deleting the website. But decided it would be worth keeping so I could stay in the loop and feel part of the artistic community.
To refresh my memory on blogging I reread my a-n blog and it made me remember how helpful…even comforting… writing about the process of making art can be. So once again, I’m making a fresh start. Wonder how many times I , and possibly many others, have said that?
