Strange how nothing significant seems to happen for years then suddenly one gets a non-stop flurry of life-changing experiences. During these explosive periods it becomes hard to hold on to core beliefs, ambitions and goals. I look back with mixed emotions to the last intensive art phase of my life during the university days from 2010 t0 2017 when I gained my BA then MA in fine art. Heady days filled with discussion as well as practical art practise. Such joy, such lovely new friendships forged. How I’d love to do that all again.
Those memories were brought back into sharp focus during the 3 days I spent in Edinburgh recently attending my granddaughters graduation in Art History and English. Her cohort of delightful friends generously including me in the lively celebrations and chat. I sometimes wonder which generation I fit into having such easy rapport with people from 18 to 90. People of all ages fascinate me.
The years from the dreadful Covid 2019 till 2024 have been flooded with hospital appointments, long periods of isolation, doubt and coming to terms with a new outlook on life. My husband and soulmate being diagnosed first with a serious heart condition and then in late 2022 the first symptoms of possible dementia, now confirmed. Its really quite mild so far but the possibility of escalation is always there.
It has taken me a long time to adjust to the changed person I share my life with. Onlookers assume that my art activities will sustain and nurture me. But this is far from the case. Art has taken a back seat. The amount of energy and patience needed to sustain two lives is phenomenal. There is a need to empathise, plan, prompt, worry, cope and of course love a person in that condition. It’s exhausting and leaves little energy or desire to make art.
But of course, Art will remain in the centre of my soul. It will find a return someday
